Re: Worried tonight ((((Sierra))))

December 26, 2004

One day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time..you sometimes have to close

your eyes and not look at it ALL at one time.sometimes you just take each moment

and just live that moment. Sometimes the whole big picture is just too

overwhelming.

Take a deep breathe, do what you can, and no more than you can...

Be sure to nurture YOU as well..that is important, you MUST take care of YOU if

your load is heavy. Let go of non essential things- if that means let the

carpet be unvacummed or the floor unwashed- it is OK. If it means frozen pizza

or spaghetti from a jar for dinner- let that be OK.

Trust me, I ooked at the big picture and it almost swallowed me. My hubby was

catatonic from Nam from 90-92 and then he was wildly PTSD with flashbaacks and

hallucinations etc. Then he was found to also have Agent Orange cancers. My

oldest child now 16 has very med resistant mental illness....with a poor

prognosis. My youngest now 9 has cerebal palsy and seizures. My husband was an

only child and so were both his parents, and they are long gone, my family is

estranged. My best friend is 34 and dying from melanoma. I NEVER look at it

all at one time.

WHen my RA hit I had just made it thru nursing school, the support of my family

rested entirely on me.and I had been a waitress up till then. The RA hit so

hard I could NOT work. I was devastated. Heck, not only could I not work, I

could not walk at all nor use my hands at all. There was noone to help us,

working full time and going to nursing school and caring for my husband and kids

left me no time to pursue relationships or friendships. I have found if I look

at it all too much, I flare more. I learned in nursing school stress will make

you ill, it can make you gravely ill. Let go of things not vital to life, take

a deep breathe.....do what you can and that is all you can do.

If you are having financial difficulties over it all, apply for social security

benefits for anyone who is ill. Even kids can sometimes get SSI. Once you get

" into the system " sometimes you can get approved for home help or respite care

or other kinds of help.

Life IS a challenge sometimes, but sometimes it sure beats the alternative. We

ARE living....that is a good begginning.

Let others help you, neighbors, friends, other family members, the town, county

or state, if possible. You are only one person and like I said you also need to

take care of you. Take a moment every day to take a bubble bath or read a book

or meditate or take a walk or daydream. Do not feel guilty about it, for you do

need to recharge yourself or you will end up ill, yourself, and then unable to

do as much. It is an investment to take care of you.

Slow down, let go.....breathe.

((((Sierra)))) and hang in there!

- In , " snowdrift52003 " <snowdrift52003@y...> wrote:

>

> Hi all,

> My mom is going from bad to worse with untreated RA. I also have

> (early) RA, which is under pretty good control with vigilant self-

> care. I have many worries about my mom tonight and about my ability

> to support her in the future. She does have a husband and I have a

> married brother, but there's not much else in the way of family help

> available to her.

> Also, my daughter has a disability and requires a lot of

> assistance. Then there's my job, which has just gone to a new level

> of demanding! Yikes...I'm worried tonight. How will I handle it all?

>

> Sierra

December 26, 2004