G...please read.

[Guest guest]

Dear Jennie G....

I am responsible for your feelings that were last posted and I do apologize.

This is a place that everyone comes to as a source of information, checking on

friends, support, and most importantly, for relief from pain. I was in pain

when I read your post and being in pain, it did evoke a response that was not

normal for me. For my unthought out response, I am sorry.

I can empathize with you on several counts. I was a single mother who raised

two daughters (one who had seizure disorder and learning disabilities) mostly by

myself. I felt alone most of the time even though I did have some emotional

support from my friends. I had a good job (with telephone company) but even so

there were many times when the finances were tough. There were times I cried

myself to sleep (if I was able to sleep because of the pain)as I just did not

think I could make it anymore but I always got up in the morning, " put on a

happy face " , and went out to face the world as a " normal " person. You see, in

those days, the pain was all in my head and I had no one to even talk to about

it. A " happy face " had to be maintained in order to get through the day and be

there for my girls. On moving....I could tell you a tale there and a current

one. I just completed a move from San Diego to the Phoenix area and was

physically unable to do most of the packing and moving by

myself. I had to hire a friend's teenage daughter to help me to pack....wish I

had her now to help me unpack. My house was supposed to have been ready in

May...wasn't. My first load of things to come over in May went into storage

(still there as garage has not even been poured yet). Brought the final things

over on the 26th of June and some of it is still in storage. Since then, I have

had two major bouts with infection throughout my body that had to be dealt with

and an ongoing Fibro flare. I sit in the middle of boxes and bins and do a

little each day....some more than others. I have many things to be disposed of

because of almost a lifetime of collecting " things " and because of being ill for

several months prior to the move was not able to sort things out as I would have

liked. I also have to put on the " happy face " here because I am raising a

grandson (who will be 10 next week) and have nearly all his life. I am his taxi

driver also as I keep him active with friends,

church, and scouts. He is so understanding with me. This week, in the

unpacking, he found a massager I have that I use for my back with a long handle.

He came to me and asked if he could massage my back and has been doing it now

every evening. He is my in home support system.

This group, or family as I like to call everyone, has been more help to me than

they could possibly know. I appreciate them all and their support for me. I

know I can always draw on their strength. I hope you will find this RA family

the same for you.

Again, please forgive me for my upsetting you.

Jan in AZ =^..^=

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "