A Few Simple Rules For Life ot

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1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling

water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly

removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone

else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using

the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few

minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from

rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be

afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget

about the

toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use

the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~ ~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for

every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of

my hand. " ~