Guest guest Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 I find myself in my usual state of distress because we have people coming over. My son is turning two, and his grandparents are coming from out of town (stress number 1) and we're hosting an Easter Egg hunt (stress number 2). My partner suggested I do The Work on this, because I always stress when people are coming over. I don't even have my best friend come over for dinner because it's too stressful. So I need to find the stressful belief behind this... I am worried about people not having a good time. This would mean that I'm not doing a good enough job being a hostess. If I were to think of everything, like good enough activities, attractive decor, great food, proper seating arangement, then there's no way a guest of mine could have a bad time. 1) Belief: if people don't enjoy themselves at my party it means I am not good enough. 2) Belief: If people think I am not good enough, that means that they won't like me as much. That I am a loser. 3) Belief: I can control what people think of me. 4) Belief: I can control whether people have a good time. 5) Belief: if people don't come, it means I am not popular... which means I'm not likeable... which means something is wrong with me... which means I have to change but I can't, because if I could have, I would have by now... which means I'm stuck in a sad, unworkable position... which means I have no choice but to be sad. If I go to someone's house, I want to have a good time. If I have a bad time, it means that I just didn't hit it off with the others. It means it was just a one off situation (because I almost always have fun at parties... the few times I didn't it was because I felt shy, and other people were being cliquey). So if people have a bad time at my party, it's not my fault. I don't want people to be bored at my place. If they were, that would mean that I'm boring... 6) Belief: if people are bored at my party, that means I am boring. Why am I having people over? To laugh together... to spend time together... to have fun with eachother... to enjoy being together. As it stands now, I don't enjoy my time because I am so stressed about everyone else. Ok... I'm going to work on these beliefs one at a time, in separate e-mails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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