Re: What to do about the holidays? (OT)

November 18, 2004

,

It is really unfortunate he is acting like that. Maybe set aside a

day or two before Christmas and have a special dinner and invite the

ex and the kids to celebrate with you. Let her know that excluding

her is his idea and there isn't much you have been able to do to

change his thinking, but that you will still always be there for her.

Jennie

> Ok here's the scoop.....DAB is seperating from his wife. It has

been bad

> for several years so it is just as well for them, but bad for

everyone else.

> { This isn't the first time, but no one liked the first ex. } They

are still

> living together because of finances and it is her house. First of

all DAB

> is under the impression that everyone should be on his side no

matter what

> he has done and everyone should ignore his ex. It has made it a

very hard

> situation for the kids and grandchild. Oh yeah, he is in his 50's

and still

> acts like a baby! Personally, everyone in my family loves his ex

and we

> want her to participate in the holiday festivities with us. He is

having a

> hissy fit about it. We are afraid he will whine enough to his kids

that

> they won't show up. The poor soul is so insecure that he has been

bribing

> them with gifts and money....Yeah that bad. (Now you see why he

can't get

> his own place!) I just talked to his ex a couple of days ago and

he has

> convinced her she isn't welcome in the family anymore. I want to

kill my

> DAB for that one. I told her, she is part of the family whether

she stays

> with him or not. He has no right telling her that BS. She will

always be

> our SIL! His granddaughter was with her and I could tell it was

taking a

> toll on her. She loves my SIL and had a big smile on her face when

I said

> Grandma will always be part of the family.

>

> So right now, we don't know if anyone (his side) is coming

Christmas Eve. I

> don't see why my DAB is putting up such a stink about it. He is

still

> living in her house. They see each other every day. Why can't he

behave

> for one night!!

>

> I am in my 50's and I just don't know how to deal with this. This

has never

> been a problem before in the family.

>

> HELP!!

>

> in Ct.

>

November 18, 2004

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