Re: Dawn/caring for a loved one 24/7

[Guest guest]

--- windfire130@... wrote:

> Hello Everyone,

> I am curious if anyone has taken Flexeril? I

> recently picked up my mother in

> law, who I care for 24/7, and put her on the commode

> (she is an amputee and

> is not able to transfer on her own anywhere), during

> the transfer she let go of

> me and I fell on my backside and it felt like my

> whole spine got pushed up

> into my neck. The doc gave me the Flexeril but said

> I would be loopy with the

> oxy I take. The pain is severe from the fall but as

> I said, I am " on call "

> 24/7 so cannot afford to be out of it in any way.

Hi Dawn

It is too much for your family to expect you

personally to be responsible for caring for your MIL

24/7. This is too demanding for someone in perfect

health, let alone someone with chronic pain. At the

very least you should only be responsible 8 hours each

day, 5 days each week.

The family must either step up and help, or hire help.

Just because you aren't working, doesn't mean you

should be 100% responsible for her care.

There is also medical equipment that can be rented

that will help you with transfers, etc. It is

dangerous for both of you to risk injury. I know far

too many former health care workers whose bodies have

been destroyed.

I'm a nurse and even with very good private help 8-12

hours each day, plus various types of assistance from

home health care, it nearly killed me both physically

and emotionally to care for my parents for over 3

years. Dad had Alzheimer's disease and Mom had

Emphysema.

Have a family meeting, and explain that this is far

too much to expect from any one person. The family

might believe that since you aren't employed that you

" aren't doing anything " and should therefore be

responsible for her care. Please do not let them do

this to you.

Caregivers suffer from depression and many other

damaging problems. At the very least there should be

someone else with your MIL during the night so you are

guaranteed a good night's sleep.

There are other muscle relaxers, such as Baclophen and

Skelaxin that you might consider trying. You need more

than medication, you need help caring for your MIL.

Kaylene

Moderator

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[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn,

I have to agree with Kaylene 100%. Have a family meeting, and explain

that it is too much for one person to care for their Mom, not that you

mind doing it but you HAVE to have at LEAST eight hours in between

each time you are there to take care of Mom.

I was a CNA at a local nursing home, a very upscale one too!! And I

injured my back at work, lifting a patient that was an amputee. And I

had another CNA lifting with me.

I hurniated a disc, slipped a vertabrea out of alignment. I am now

disabled, unable to walk farther than 20feet +/- ,

I have neuropathy in both of my legs and feet. Lord knows I could go

on with all the stuff that is wrong with me!! But all in all I just

wanted to tell you what has happened to me from lifting someone.

Please, please, please talkto the rest of the family and insist that

you get help with Mom. And let them know that with chronic pain, you

are unable to dolifting that could potentially hurt you and Mom, and I

am sure they will not want either of you hurt.

Good luck & and take care of yourself.

Huggs,

Sandy, IN

Moderator

[Guest guest]

--- Sandy wrote:

> Please, please, please talkto the rest of the family

> and insist that

> you get help with Mom. And let them know that with

> chronic pain, you

> are unable to dolifting that could potentially hurt

> you and Mom, and I

> am sure they will not want either of you hurt.

I agree Sandy. I have seen it over and over again.

Your MIL is not only an amputee, but she has dementia,

and is therefore unpredictable.

We took care of my maternal grandmother at home for 5

years, long before my parents were ill. We used a

Hoyer Lift.

It would be best to get one that has a battery or

electric hydraulic life. The hand crank ones are very

hard on your shoulder and back. Just rolling a person

into and out of the sling is a strain on the back.

Your MIL is at the end of her life. You have many

years ahead. Once your back is ruined, it's ruined.

Your own health is priceless.

I know it's hard to get help. We were able to use

private help, and home health. I was blessed with 2

women who cleaned the house, cared for Mom and Dad,

and even had supper ready when I came home from work.

It was much cheaper to pay them than to put Mom and/or

Dad in a nursing home. Hiring good help isn't easy. We

were very, very lucky to have Martha and . As Dad

became worse, they worked longer hours.

I found them through my best friend, the social worker

at the Nursing Home where I worked.

Once again, at the very, very least you need a sitter

to care for your MIL during the night, so you can get

a good night's sleep.

Sandy,I could not have said it better. I wore out my

own back and both knees as a nurse. It is a labor

intensive job. At least at work there were other

employees to help. You are all alone.

Kaylene

Moderator

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