AW: Re: New Member

[Guest guest]

Dear Missl6840? ;-)

> Hi ,

>

> I have not had a chance to continue in Byron 's book yet but to

> answer those questions:

> What bothers me most is wondering where he is and how drunk he is

> getting that leads to how much money he is wasting on it and buying

> other's drinks.

right, mind doesn't stop. So put it on paper and start questioning.

Wondering where he is bother's you.

That could be a: he should be ... at a certain place. Find the place you would

like him to be most, at this moment: at home, in the living room, in your arms,

with his mother, at the club... wherever it is you feel most comfortable with

him being at. Question that, just for curiosity and see what comes out. Notice

when you start arguing, like: well, it's not a certain place he should be at,

I'd just like to know... it's not really true he should be there, he should

decide for himself..., etc. Let your inner child speak. Your inner child is not

understanding. It is demanding, instead. It knows how to care for itself. This

is about finding your real freedom. Be the petty wife you try to hide (you do,

don't you?). And keep it simple.

Oh, and stay with that one.

Also notice, when you slip to the other things that bother you. Don't worry,

they'll come back, if you need them. That's a promise.

Don't wait for yourself to finish that book. Just use the four questions, now.

And don't forget the turnaround!

> Some of our friends ask me if I trust him. Well, I

> guess I dont on a number of accounts. He says he would never cheat on

> me but I dont think that is my worry. It is because of how the

> drinking makes him act and how other people see him and then think of

> me - like why are you with him? Stuff like that. I just want to find

> peace with the situation.

Yes, of course.

> He is at the point where he knows he needs

> to stop drinking and that is usually when it gets better, but it never

> completely goes away. I know that some people can stop drinking for a

> long period of time and maybe not ever take another drink like his Dad

> and his friend from college. So far, he has not been able to achieve

> that goal.

Of course, and that's none of your concern.

> Maybe that is what bothers me the most and I dont know if I

> want to live with that - but I dont want to give up either. We really

> love each other and have been together for 6+ years. He is amazing

> when he is sober.

I believe he is.

> Anyway, thanks for the response and have a great weekend.

Love,

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