This autoimmune stuff bites!

July 15, 2004

How I enjoy this group! Daily I learn new stuff, feel so less

lonely and lost, cry with you all and cheer you all on.

I am confused about alot of stuff. I have seen multiply Dr.'s,

researched, looked into alternative medicines, etc. Long story

short- Dr.'s DX me with RA, Lupus and Fibro (over a year ago). Ok.

Lable it " mixed connective tissue... " as my blood work is constantly

flip flopping. Been on all sorts of meds. The Methotrexate almost

killed me! Wah! Worked up to 7 of the 2.5 mg a week. Right lower

lung started to really hurt- hard to breath and not able to lay

down. Called Rheumy- told me to take a Previcid! ???? Called

Internist- go to ER. Dr. there did x-rays and blood work on a

Tuesday. 9 hours later sent me home with pain meds and told me to

take it easy. Saturday- I was incoherant. No sleep, no laying

down, whole right lung hurt, intestines hurt, trouble breathing,

vomiting, diarreha. Back to ER. Admitted this time. Dr.'s find

out that the Methotrexate was not clearing my system like it

should. Result- no immune system, no red, liver messed up, kidneys

messed up, intestines messed up, right lung collasped (with embolism

and pneumonia). Huh? 10 days later, get to go home. This scares

me alot. What do I do now? How I feel that my body has totally

betrayed me! I am so scared. And now have even more medical

problems! Been dealing with the DX and then this. I finally agreed

to the Steriods while in hospital- feel some better, but I get so

agitated and hostile on them. I go see a new Rheumy next week.

I am scared to try any meds now. How I wish this would all just go

away! Have 2 boys- ages 3 and 4. I feel like a crummy Mom. I have

so tried to suck it up and go on with life a normal- try to not let

this all effect hubby and kids.

Please, how do you all cope? Thank you-

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