our depressing deadly disease (Jennie)

[Guest guest]

AW, yes, some days it IS depressing. Other days it is not so bad. No, I do not

like knowing I have a serious illness, but I am also so grateful that for me,

treatment helps.

Some days the newspaper upsets me, it can be a sad world out there. But at the

same time, I can go out into that world and find good, too. :-)

OK, I have this crummy disease, and I do hate it. But, I am alive today, here

and now. Lightening might strike me down 10 minutes from now or some car might

crash into my house, but right now, I am not going to panic. I had this wake up

call that reminded me life is short, and precious- and live it while I can. My

wake up call was called RA. It reminded me not to wait till I am done with this

project to hug my kids now. It reminded me we have no guarantee there is a

tomorrow, no matter who we are and what we are diagnosed with.

It also helps me when I am pacing myself and rationing my strength and abilities

thru the day- I have to do this- and people sometimes minimize my illness. How

many people look at me and ask me why are you walking so slow. Why are you

worried about going home to bed on time? (I used to work double and even triple

shifts and did not think about a need to sleep) Why am I indeed? Becuz I am

doing what I can to be kinder to my poor body, I have RA. Well, then people

look at me and say - oh well so what, I have this knee that gets stiff

sometimes, I have arthritis, too. SO what? People just do not realize this is

a serious illness.