Becky

[Guest guest]

Thank you Becky. I am feeling much better now. I don't qualify for

any kind of assistance, and I actually make a good living. It would

just help if I had an ex spouse who had enough money to help with

the expenses.

Most divorced couples split the cost of daycare, clothes,

healthcare, etc. Since I make more than he does, the way the

calculation comes out I have to pay all of it myself. Up until now

I've had to pay him an extra $155 a month for child support (It was

actually $540 up until June, but the extra was spousal support and

it was temporary). I had to take a small cut in pay when I switched

jobs, so the child support for the rest of this year will only be

$63 but we'll just see how big of a stink his attorney makes about

that next week. Then at the end of this year my bonuses kick in so

it will go up to $175 per month. Not a ton of money but her school

and other expenses eat up everything I have. And I will have to pay

him this money until she is 18 unless he figures out and gets

motivated to actually put his graduate degree to work. It's his

choice to do that or not do that, the court won't force him to.

I'm holding my own but I don't have any left over to save for

emergencies, a house, my retirement or her college. Very little

chance her dad is going to be saving for her college, so that is up

to me. In a couple years she will go to public school and then I

will have some extra money to save and hopefully buy us a home.

After that, I can save for the things her and I will need in the

future.

Jennie

> Have you checked into CHASI for your daughter's child

care/preschool? Also, some places offer scholarships but you have

to ask. I have a daycare and the state will pay for a good portion

of costs sometimes but it's a bunch of paperwork to go through.

It's worth it. Sometimes they will go back for the past month and

pay. Also our state (Illinois) offers Kidscare for healthcare.

Sometimes they pay for the whole doctor bill, sometimes they

reimburse you for a portion of the medical insurance. Since you are

a single parent you have a much better chance of getting these

services. If you are even close to the financial cutoff they will

sometimes deduct mileage for things such as school transportation,

medical care, etc. It adds up quickly so it's worth checking into.

>

> Please know that you have friends here and we will always be here

for you. I hope you are feeling better today.

>

> Becky

> [ ] Re: Off-topic posts - To everyone

And all of this is

> happening while I'm trying to get my divorce finalized and get

the

> child support that I have to pay my ex reduced since I had to

take a

> CUT IN PAY to change jobs to one I CAN ACTUALLY HANDLE BECAUSE I

> HAVE RA and be able to pick my daughter up at a reasonable time

from

> her school. Forget that I supported us while my ex went through

> graduate school and he just happened to pick a low paying career

but

> that doesn't matter and so I have to pay all my daugthers

expenses

> including the $850 average per month (it's $945 in the school

year,

> less in the summer) preschool and her clothes and my insurance

co-

> payments and drug co-payments and our health insurance premiums

and

> everything myself and after all that I have to pay him money

too. I

> do not make a ton of money! He just makes nearly nothing. And

he

> doesn't have any disease to deal with but that doesn't matter

> either.

>