O/T - Moving story

[Guest guest]

This is a posting I borrowed from the UC/CD n/g I'm in:

Something to think about..................... My brother-in-law opened

the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-

wrapped

package. " This, " he said, " is not a slip. This is lingerie. " He

discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite, silk,

handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an

astronomical figure on it was still attached. " Jan bought this the

first

time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore

it.

She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the

occasion. " He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the

other

clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the

soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned

to me. " DON'T EVER SAVE ANYTHING FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION. EVERY DAY

YOU'RE

ALIVE IS A SPECIAL OCCASION. " I remembered those words through

the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece

attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I

thought

about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern

town

where my sister's family

lives. I thought about the things that she had one with realizing

that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and

they've

changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the

deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the

garden.

I spending more time with my family and friends and less

time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a

pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize

these moments now and cherish time. I'm not " saving " anything; we

use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing

a

pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear

my

good blazer to the market if I

feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out

$28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not

saving my good perfume for special parties, clerks in hardware stores

and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party

going

friends. " Someday " and " one of these days " are losing their grip on

my

vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see

and

hear and DO IT NOW! I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she

known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for

granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close

friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and

mend fences for past squabbles. I'd like to think she would have

gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing. I'll

never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me

angry if I

knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good

friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday. Angry because I

hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these

days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter

often enough how much I truly love them.!!!

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that

would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I

open my eyes, I tell myself that every day, every minute, every breath

truly is .... a gift from God.

[Guest guest]

Debbi, that story brought tears to my eyes. When my brother died

unexpectedly 15 years ago, I told myself to do the things I wanted to do now

because, " when we retire.. " may never come as it did not come for him. 4

years ago when my sister died unexpectedly, I again reminded myself, and

this time I tried to convince my husband to loosen up a little too....he wa

all for saving for retirement.

NOw with me losing my colon and having PSC, I don't wait for anything. If I

alwasys wanted it, I get it, If I wanted to do something I do it. The most

important thing though, for me is, If I don't really want to do it, I don't!

I don't make excuses about not wanting to, I just say I don't want to and

I'm not wasting my time doing it. (comes in handy when you don't want to see

inlaws).

There are times MIke wants to go do something, but I don't, so I just say I

really don't want to, I have a higher priority so you go do your thing and

let me do mine. Although I do recognize that spending time with family and

friends is my top priority now. I used to hate reunions and showers and

family parties, not I am eager to go because it could be my last chance to

'mold' or 'inform' someone I love.

All my immediate family (sister, mom, dad, kids) all start each meeting with

a hug and end it with an I love you. We don't care who sees or

hears.....for us, having gone through everything we have, we know the

importance of right now.

O/T - Moving story

This is a posting I borrowed from the UC/CD n/g I'm in:

Something to think about..................... My brother-in-law opened

the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-

wrapped

package. " This, " he said, " is not a slip. This is lingerie. " He

discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite, silk,

handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an

astronomical figure on it was still attached. " Jan bought this the

first

time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore

it.

She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the

occasion. " He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the

other

clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the

soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned

to me. " DON'T EVER SAVE ANYTHING FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION. EVERY DAY

YOU'RE

ALIVE IS A SPECIAL OCCASION. " I remembered those words through

the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece

attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I

thought

about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern

town

where my sister's family

lives. I thought about the things that she had one with realizing

that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and

they've

changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the

deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the

garden.

I spending more time with my family and friends and less

time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a

pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize

these moments now and cherish time. I'm not " saving " anything; we

use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing

a

pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear

my

good blazer to the market if I

feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out

$28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not

saving my good perfume for special parties, clerks in hardware stores

and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party

going

friends. " Someday " and " one of these days " are losing their grip on

my

vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see

and

hear and DO IT NOW! I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she

known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for

granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close

friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and

mend fences for past squabbles. I'd like to think she would have

gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing. I'll

never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me

angry if I

knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good

friends whom I was going to get in touch with someday. Angry because I

hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these

days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter

often enough how much I truly love them.!!!

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that

would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I

open my eyes, I tell myself that every day, every minute, every breath

truly is .... a gift from God.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Debbie. We all need reminders from time to time. Barb