Warning: animal cruelty: Re: What if it is hard to imagine yourself not believin

[Guest guest]

i sort of did the same thing i never took my cat to a vet and she

died.. i feel guilty somewhat.. but im sure there are cats in heavent.

and kitttens.. i did take her eventually and it was too late.

i had a sort of similar incident with white rats.. my brother had two

that had babies and so my father wrapped one up as a joke.. to give my

Uncle at Xmas.. he opened the box and said he was going to draown it..

i never saw him drown the little rats but just hearing about it

was upsetting.. and i wanted to keep them but my dad wouldnt let me..

i screamed and cried and every one thought it was funny.

the whole family laughed at me getting so upset.

There ware lots of jokes made.. .

i couldnt stand my uncle for awhile.. though he was a likeable

sort.. I Think people who grew up in small towns or farms..

find it easy to kill animals.. which he did.

im with you i hated it.. but then i sort of did the same to my

cat..

kittens shouldnt die.. is that true..

Mona did a phone call on china.. and asked children shouldnt die.. is

that true.. happens all the time.

I think i included a link to that call if your interested.. on here..

previously..

love, roslyn

-

-- In Loving-what-is , " Hanle " wrote:

>

> Hi Jon

> Thank you for your suggestions. I am still stuck in the " how do I

feel and

> live my life if I believe the thought. I am going to post my

enquiry, but a

> warning that it involves cruelty to animals.

>

> When I was six, we (my mom, step-dad and his family and my brother and

> sisters) went for a " picnic " at a rural place with a river that was

pretty

> dried up, except for puddles of water. Upon arrival, my stepgrandfather

> produced a bag with 4 kittens in it. They threw them into a deeper

puddle,

> as they swam out, they were thrown back until they eventually drowned.

>

> I should have saved the kittens.

>

> Is it true? YES, YES, YES

>

> Can I absolutely know that it is true? Yes.

>

> How do I feel and live my life when I have this thought?

> I see their eyes desperately begging for my help and I know I am the

only

> one to save them. I scream hysterically for them to stop, over and

over. I

> hear my mother's voice telling them to take me away. I learn that

day that

> people are cruel and cannot be trusted and this believe still surfaces

> sometimes. I learn that if I am not in control of all situations,

terrible

> things can happen. For years whenever I felt out of control, I would

" loose "

> it and I would start screaming hysterically again. Therapy helped

somehat to

> reduce this, but there is still some of that left. I live with such

guilt

> for not simply walking into the water and rescuing them.I disown

this little

> girl for not doing something to help them. I hide the part of me

that is

> compassionate and caring, because the pain associated with that is

too much.

> I live as if I am alone in the world and have to always rely on

myself. I

> hide this incident from myself as I cannot bear to look at it.

>

> How do I feel without the thought " I should have saved the kittens " ?

>

> Here I just get stuck. What would I be without the thought? Someone who

> watches the kittens drowning and be OK with it? I just cannot

imagine myself

> without this thought. I see that the therapy helped me to forgive the

> adults, but that I keep myself totally responsible. I want the truth

and the

> truth for me is I should have saved them. For a short while, I imagined

> myself watching it all happening and being present and there was

intense

> love for everyone and everything, but the feeling was very

short-lived. The

> thought that I would see that death is not real and that everyone

really is

> doing the best they can came up. Another thought was that even in that

> moment, we were all safe and protected by God. These thoughts were all

> short-lived and does not feel overwhelming true to me.

>

> I don't even know if I am busy doing the work or if I am just

reliving this

> incident for the first time since it happened with all the emotions

attached

> to it. I am continuously feeling what it feels like with this

thought. I

> have been crying so much since yesterday. I am stuck on this.

>

> Hanle

>

>

>

> Re: What if it is hard to imagine yourself

not

> believing a thought?

>

>

> > Hi Hanle,

> >

> > Another suggestion, again not sure how applicable this is to your

> > belief, find the concept behind it and imagine your life without the

> > concept - e.g. he shouldn't talk so much - who would I be without the

> > concept of 'talking too much' in my life - or even 'too much'.

> >

> > I sometimes find this makes it less personal and helps to 'dislodge'

> > the belief a little.

> >

> > With love,

> >

> > Jon

> >

> >

> >>

> >> Hi Hanle,

> >>

> >> My suggestion is not to try and force it - without knowing the

thought

> >> you are working on, it's tricky to go further than that - I notice if

> >> I try to imagine it too hard it doesn't work, that being softer with

> >> it works better, even if I can lift it 10%.

> >>

> >> It will work in it's own time and not before - the belief that you

> >> want to be free of it, for example, could be inquired into.

> >>

> >> And, of course, just keep going with the process to the turnarounds -

> >> sometimes I find they bring new insights for question 4.

> >>

> >> If you feel able to, why not post the inquiry here for feedback? And

> >> if you don't feel able, or it feels stressful, maybe check out what

> >> you make up will happen if you post it here.

> >>

> >> With love,

> >>

> >> Jon

> >>

> >> >

> >> > Hi

> >> > Something came up for me to do the work on that happened when I was

> >> 6 (43

> >> > years ago). I have done some therapy on it in the past and thought

> >> it has

> >> > been worked through. Apparently not.

> >> >

> >> > Without going into details, what do you do if you find it almost

> >> impossible

> >> > to imagine yourself without the thought yu are believing in? I was

> >> back to

> >> > being 6 and at the scene and for a long time could not get

myself to

> >> imagine

> >> > what I would be there, on the scene, without the thought. Should I

> >> come back

> >> > to today and imagine it? There is a lot of guilt associated

with the

> >> > incident, even though I can totally see with my rational thoughts I

> >> could do

> >> > nothing to help.

> >> >

> >> > I still get tearful about it. I think there are so many beliefs I

> >> have today

> >> > coming from that one incident that I would really like to be free

> > of it.

> >> >

> >> > Any suggestions?

> >> > Thanks

> >> > Hanle

> >> >

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> >