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have been feeling lousy

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I have been feeling so lousy it has been hard to put a smile on my

face. It has been a terrible last 2 years and the going just seems

to get tougher. I don't know sometimes how I get up in the morning

and carry on. 2 years ago it was Jay's Mom - she passed away from

colon cancer...then it was my Mom - bless her heart she is still

alive thanks to a pace maker but she has congenitive heart trouble

and doesn't seem to be getting any better.

Now it is my Dad, he has brain cancer. I already miss talking to

him but he is still here...I can't call him because i start crying

on the phone and that is no good.

I hurt so bad emotionally and physically. I know that stress makes

my condition worse and that none of this is helping me but what do I

do. Tell them not to get sick...it doesn't work.

I feel so alone at times. How do I complain or ask for help when

they are so much worse then I am. No I can't do half what I could

do just a year ago. But it seems so trivial to me. It hurts but

what is pain to death or impending death.

I want you all to know you mean so much to me and I thank you so

much for being here for me. I thank you so much for all your

prayers.

God bless,

Althea

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