A Few Of The Lessons I Learned In Parenthood 101 (ot)

September 20, 2004

On Parenthood 101:

1. - Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was

small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

2. - You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper

way to raise children? Those who have never had any!

3. - Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

4. - God gave you two ears and one mouth ... so you should listen twice as much

as you talk.

5. - Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and

easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren..

6. - Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can

tell when he's really in trouble.

7. - The joy of motherhood is what a woman experiences when all the children are

finally in bed.

8. - The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere - and

hide the keys to the car.

9. - Avenge yourself - live long enough to be a problem to your children.

10. - To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives

today.

11. - Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your

car, and you get about the same results.

12. - If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something

called labor.

13. - There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable

diseases and his mother's age.

14. - Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

15. - No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find

themselves; the other half tells them to get lost.

16. - The people hardest to convince that it's time for retirement are children

at bedtime

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. "

Recommended Posts