A great resource

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

Just want to share this excellent resource with you - Mona Grayson's

newsletter - recently she has been delivering a whole bunch of stuff

around inquiring into emotions which I have found to be very good.

There does not appear to be an archive of these newsletters at the

moment, so I've attached one below and if you're interested in

receiving more, you can sign up for it through her website at

www.questionthemind.com .

Jon

--- [inner Workings] Do You Have These Two Questions?

Date: Wed, April 16, 2008 8:04 am

To: " Jon "

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

From: Mona Grayson

Re: [inner Workings] Do You Have These Two Questions?

Hi Jon~

I have 2 things to share with you

today...

They're answers to questions that

readers of Inner Workings submitted

to me about working with their

emotions.

Over the last few weeks we've

covered a lot of territory with the

idea of working with emotions as

well as with the new exercise of

facilitating your emotions.

As you read through the questions

and responses below, see if you can

find where the situations and the

responses apply to you.

And keep your questions coming:

http://www.questionthemind.com/facilitatingemotions/ask.htm

=================

Question #1

=================

Question: The emotion that gives me

much trouble is being scared, very

scared. Of life/death in general,

living alone in particular. What

can I do?

Response: Yes, you're very scared

and then you may start being afraid

of being afraid because it is

painful to be so afraid of things.

It's okay to be afraid and I

appreciate that you're

acknowledging that you're feeling

fearful. Sometimes that's not so

easy to do.

When you're working through these

emotions of being afraid, it can be

helpful to break them down into the

smaller pieces that you're afraid

of.

So instead of sitting across the

table from Fear in general and

listening to what it has to share

with you, try sitting with

different fears.

You might sit with:

* Fear of dying

* Fear of being afraid

* Fear of living alone

* Fear of disappointing others

* Etc...

This can allow you to get to know

each particular fear and what's

going on with them instead of

trying to work with the whole idea

of fear which may seem overwhelming

because it's so strong for you.

The above would be the approach I'd

recommend if you wanted to do the

exercise of Facilitating Your

Emotion.

Another idea for addressing your

fear is to complete this sentence:

I'm afraid of ____________ because

______________.

You might have: I'm afraid of dying

because it's going to be painful.

Then you could question it like

this:

" Dying is going to be painful. " Is

that true? Then you could continue

on through the 4 questions and the

turnarounds.

If you wrote: I'm afraid of living

because I'm all by myself, you

could question it like this:

" Living is scary because I'm by

myself. "

Or

" I'm all by myself. "

So you can question the beliefs

that the emotion shares with you

when you're sitting across the

table from it, and you can also

question the beliefs that lead you

to feel afraid of dying, living,

disappointing others, etc.

Another idea is to think of someone

who you think isn't afraid of the

things that you're afraid of. If

you put yourself in their shoes for

a moment, what do you think they're

NOT believing that allows them to

not be afraid?

For instance, someone who isn't

afraid of dogs probably isn't

believing " Dogs are mean. "

Someone who isn't afraid of being

by themselves probably isn't

believing " I need to be with

others in order to be happy. "

As you make your list of things

that other people are probably NOT

believing, then you can take those

beliefs and question them as if you

DO believe them since you're

feeling fearful in those areas.

==================

Question #2

==================

Question: I notice that when I am

in the grip of an emotion,

especially shame, I hide honest

examples from myself of what I am

ashamed of. Do you have a

suggestion on this, please?

Response: Thanks for your question.

I have one back for you: If you are

hiding the honest examples, how do

you know that they're honest

examples?

:-)

It sounds to me like you're aware

of the honest examples - so they're

not totally hidden. Is it a matter

of writing them down when you're

doing your written inquiry and

that's where you feel like you're

hiding them?

If you are, then ask yourself this:

What am I afraid would happen if I

wrote down this honest example?

Or if it's in the turnarounds that

you're having a hard time honoring

the examples you're finding, ask

yourself that same question in

relation to the turnarounds.

Who are you afraid would judge you

if you were to acknowledge that

example you found about yourself?

What would it mean if you

acknowledged that you really do

love smoking cigarettes, or that

you did kind of wish that person

harm, or that you weren't sad when

you heard that your friend was

getting a divorce? (Whatever the

things are that you feel ashamed

of?)

Since you didn't include a specific

example of how you experience this

" hiding honest examples " I'm taking

some guesses here and giving you

some suggestions based on those.

Feel free to submit another

question with more details if this

doesn't address your issue fully:

http://www.questionthemind.com/facilitatingemotions/ask.htm

==================

Something to sit with...

==================

What if expressing your emotions was as natural

as going to the bathroom?

==================

Until Next Time...

==================

It's great to be in touch with you

again as we continue looking at

ways you can befriend your emotions

and get to know them better through

inquiry.

I'll be in touch again later in the

week when I'm back from Oklahoma.

Love,

~Mona

http://www.questionthemind.com