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I haven't been a contributor to , but I am a constant reader. I

hope I can continue to receive the digest. The last digest I

received was dated March 10. How can I regain contact with the group?

Jim

----------

> From: eGroups Digest <egroups>

> To: jcarroll@...

> Subject: digest

> Date: Wednesday,March 10,1999 9:32 AM

>

> eGroups Daily Digest: has 24 new messages.

> Click here http://www.eGroups.com/list//?start=1022 to read

them.

>

> -----------------------------------------------------------------

> 1022. MCCARTHY, , GCM emotions & other things

> 1023. Vizas Emotions and all those things

> 1024. Dirk Rosen Rain and accupucture

> 1025. JQS2@... Re: Emotions

> 1026. Oceandrmer@... Re: emotions & other things

> 1027. Oceandrmer@... Re: Emotions and all those things

> 1028. palfeld@... Emotions and all those things

> 1029. Russ Askren Liver Transplant survival

> 1030. glenn+janet Re: Emotions

> 1031. glenn+janet Re: Liver Transplant survival

> 1032. Vizas The Future

> 1033. JQS2@... Re: Liver Transplant survival

> 1034. Vizas LET IT SNOW

> 1035. Rnurse987@... Re: The Future

> 1036. Rnurse987@... Re: Liver Transplant survival

> 1037. Rnurse987@... Re: Liver Transplant survival

> 1038. OneAVIDman@... Re: LET IT SNOW

> 1039. Vizas Re: LET IT SNOW

> 1040. Vizas TOMARROW

> 1041. Oceandrmer@... Re: Emotions and all those things

> 1042. Oceandrmer@... Re: Liver Transplant survival

> 1043. Oceandrmer@... Re: Liver Transplant survival

> 1044. Oceandrmer@... Re: Liver Transplant survival

> 1045. Rnurse987@... Re: Liver Transplant survival

> -----------------------------------------------------------------

>

> ------------------------------ message 1022

------------------------------

> http://www.eGroups.com/list//?start=1022

>

>

> Subject: emotions & other things

> Date: Mon, 8 Mar 1999 14:45:10 -0500

> MIME-Version: 1.0

> Content-Type: text/plain; charset= " iso-8859-1 "

> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

>

>

> I wanted to comment on the emotions topic because I went looking for this

> group on a sad, depressed day a couple of weeks ago. Russ's response

struck

> a chord for me, though it's interesting that my " worst time " was when I

was

> enjoying a lot of success!

>

> Prior to last summer, I'd approached my illness with a certain amount of

> disbelief - so much so that when my medicine ran out I'd wait a few

months

> before getting it refilled. Rarely went to the doctor. Since my diagnosis

6

> years ago I'd left my job, started my own business, went skydiving,

> white-water rafting, etc. - all the thing I'd wanted to do but never did.

I

> watched my daughter graduate high school and enter college, went to

plays,

> had season tickets for the Yankees and just felt like everything was

> together. I been dating around and then I met someone I thought was meant

> for me.

>

> Then last summer I got the news that liver failure was a strong

possibility

> in my future - and I got depressed. I was convinced I was going to die

and

> felt everything had unravelled. I struggled to be positive, but for every

> good day there were a dozen bad ones. I had trouble talking to people

about

> what was happening because I didn't want to feel sorry for myself

> ;unfortunately, I was still feeling sorry for myself. I just thought

talking

> about it would feed the sadness, so I shut down. I'd open up for a few

days

> if I had to go for a procedure , but then I'd go back to trying not to

talk

> about my illness.

> (Hey, I'm a guy, I'm not supposed to talk about my feelings :-))

>

> I do some volunteer work, and was asked to speak to a group of people who

> were struggling with life(financially and emotionally). What I

discovered

> when I spoke to these people was that I didn't want to trade places with

> them - even with my disease. I realized I had a good life with problems -

> some big, some small, but still I had a good life. And when I read the

> postings of this group I realized that I wasn't alone - I'd joined a

" leaky

> boat " as one person said, but at least there were other people trying to

> keep it afloat. I got some professional help and found that I didn't have

a

> healthy outlet for stress and anger, so I committed to an exercise

program

> to channel this energy in a more positive way. The therapist helped me

see

> that even if my worst fears were true, I should try and get more out of

life

> than ever before. I guess more than anything, I discovered that I could

sit

> on the couch and feel sad, or go out and live life and feel sad, but at

> least I'd be having some fun if I went out.

>

> I still have bad days, but not as often. I have set times for the gym and

> other activities, and I try to stick to that schedule. I have goals and

> dreams and try to work toward them. I look for people like Russ, because

he

> sounds positive and that's what I want to be. Positive. Besides, he likes

to

> ski.

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

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