Re: he'll love me if i have sex with him

[Guest guest]

Another turnaround:

He will love me if I don't have sex with him.

Any examples of him saying he loves you or being loving when you're

not having sex?

[Guest guest]

yes jon,

he tells me i'm amazing and unique when we are not making love,

he hugs me and holds me when we are not having sex

he sends me emails and tells me how much he cares

thanks for helping me see that jon..

>

> Another turnaround:

>

> He will love me if I don't have sex with him.

>

> Any examples of him saying he loves you or being loving when you're

> not having sex?

>

[Guest guest]

it's interesting your first answer was " no " .

meaning you know it's not true, you dont believe he'll love you if you

have sex with him.

so what do you believe?

i think at this point you may use sex to attract him or just because

it's the only way to keep him in your life in the degree you can have him.

to my mind it seems like all of this is still hanging around the same

old believe, that you need him, that you need him to love you.

you might wanna have additional inquiring on this one.

>

> he'll love me if i have sex with him

>

> 1, no

>

> 3, i try and get him to love me by having sex, i use sex to control

> him, i use sex to try and get him to want me, i use sex to manipulate

> him and try and feel good about myself,

> I treat him as an object to be owned, i don't really care about him

> just thinking about what he can give me, i don't care about what he

> wants, too busy trying to get what i want by using my body.

> i become his yes woman, i say yes even when i'm not turned on,

> because i'm so desperate to get him to love me.

> i put all my wants on the shelf, i don't say no, i sell myself out, i

> become the love godess.

> i get to believe i can manipulate love from him and no it's never

> worked in the past. i get to believe if i twist myslf into a pretzel

> that in some way he'll love me.

>

> 4, i can't say who i'd be without this thought, i can't say that i

> wouldn't want to have sex with him but maybe i'd be doing it more

> because i want to rather than because i want to get something from

> him, and i'd also have the opportinity to say No that doesn't feel

> right right now so i'd be more in the moment, asking myself if it

> felt right for me rather than feeling desperate.

> So less desperate, needy, less wanting to please him, maybe being

> really open about what we might be entering into.

> i wouldn't be projecting that he just wants me for sex because i

> wouldn't be using my sexuality to try and get something from him.

> Maybe we would just have a beautiful friendship.

>

> T.A he won't love me if i have sex with him.

> 1, no it certainly hasn't made him any closer

> 2, he still dumped me even though we had great sex

> 3, maybe he will just think i'm easy and a bit stupid if i have sex

> with him

>

> T.A I won't love me if i have sex with him

> 1, no not when i'm doing it to try and win his love

> 2, i don't love me and i get suspicious of him as well because i

> think he just wants to fuck me

> 3, no i don't love or like myself because i'm selling myself out for

> L.A.A

>

> T.A I will love me if I have sex with me

> 1, yes if i turn all that energy i keep putting out there on him and

> focus it on me then I think I might just love myself

> 2, I can learn to pleasure myself without needing a man to do it and

> i mean pleasure in more than one way.

> 3, i'll love me if i have sex with me by just really loving myself up

> and not looking for an outside source.

>

> T.A I won't love me if i have sex with me

> 1, yes when i use sex or mastibation to move away from my feelings i

> don't like me

> 2, when i use mastabation as a way or avoiding my mind.

>

> T.A i will loove me if i have sex with him

> 1, if i just have sex with him, accepting him for who he is and have

> no expectation of him loving me.

> 2, if i'm completely crazy about myself and have sex with him then it

> wouldn't matter what he thought and then i wonder if i'd want to have

> sex with him or not anyway.

>

> Ok i'D love feedback or any other turnarounds or just insights into

> where other peoples minds go with these turnarounds

>

> blessings

>

> pipxx

>

[Guest guest]

yes thanks facy, i can find all of that

xxpipxx

In Loving-what-is , " facy102 " wrote:

>

> it's interesting your first answer was " no " .

> meaning you know it's not true, you dont believe he'll love you if you

> have sex with him.

> so what do you believe?

> i think at this point you may use sex to attract him or just because

> it's the only way to keep him in your life in the degree you can

have him.

> to my mind it seems like all of this is still hanging around the same

> old believe, that you need him, that you need him to love you.

> you might wanna have additional inquiring on this one.

>

>

> >

> > he'll love me if i have sex with him

> >

> > 1, no

> >

> > 3, i try and get him to love me by having sex, i use sex to control

> > him, i use sex to try and get him to want me, i use sex to manipulate

> > him and try and feel good about myself,

> > I treat him as an object to be owned, i don't really care about him

> > just thinking about what he can give me, i don't care about what he

> > wants, too busy trying to get what i want by using my body.

> > i become his yes woman, i say yes even when i'm not turned on,

> > because i'm so desperate to get him to love me.

> > i put all my wants on the shelf, i don't say no, i sell myself out, i

> > become the love godess.

> > i get to believe i can manipulate love from him and no it's never

> > worked in the past. i get to believe if i twist myslf into a pretzel

> > that in some way he'll love me.

> >

> > 4, i can't say who i'd be without this thought, i can't say that i

> > wouldn't want to have sex with him but maybe i'd be doing it more

> > because i want to rather than because i want to get something from

> > him, and i'd also have the opportinity to say No that doesn't feel

> > right right now so i'd be more in the moment, asking myself if it

> > felt right for me rather than feeling desperate.

> > So less desperate, needy, less wanting to please him, maybe being

> > really open about what we might be entering into.

> > i wouldn't be projecting that he just wants me for sex because i

> > wouldn't be using my sexuality to try and get something from him.

> > Maybe we would just have a beautiful friendship.

> >

> > T.A he won't love me if i have sex with him.

> > 1, no it certainly hasn't made him any closer

> > 2, he still dumped me even though we had great sex

> > 3, maybe he will just think i'm easy and a bit stupid if i have sex

> > with him

> >

> > T.A I won't love me if i have sex with him

> > 1, no not when i'm doing it to try and win his love

> > 2, i don't love me and i get suspicious of him as well because i

> > think he just wants to fuck me

> > 3, no i don't love or like myself because i'm selling myself out for

> > L.A.A

> >

> > T.A I will love me if I have sex with me

> > 1, yes if i turn all that energy i keep putting out there on him and

> > focus it on me then I think I might just love myself

> > 2, I can learn to pleasure myself without needing a man to do it and

> > i mean pleasure in more than one way.

> > 3, i'll love me if i have sex with me by just really loving myself up

> > and not looking for an outside source.

> >

> > T.A I won't love me if i have sex with me

> > 1, yes when i use sex or mastibation to move away from my feelings i

> > don't like me

> > 2, when i use mastabation as a way or avoiding my mind.

> >

> > T.A i will loove me if i have sex with him

> > 1, if i just have sex with him, accepting him for who he is and have

> > no expectation of him loving me.

> > 2, if i'm completely crazy about myself and have sex with him then it

> > wouldn't matter what he thought and then i wonder if i'd want to have

> > sex with him or not anyway.

> >

> > Ok i'D love feedback or any other turnarounds or just insights into

> > where other peoples minds go with these turnarounds

> >

> > blessings

> >

> > pipxx

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Some other possible beliefs:

Men are only interested in sex

He's only interested in sex

[Guest guest]

Hi Pip - Happy holidays!

This reminds me of one I was working on a while back, and finding the

greater truth really has helped me.

My one-liner about my girlfriend was " If you love me, you will do

what I want. " Similar to yours.

Here is the TA that changed my life and why -

TA - If I love me, you will do what you want.

It's a reminder of that problem of being in someone else's business.

The best thing I can do is be in my own business, loving myself,

loving her, and give her the freedom to do her own loving in the way

that is best for her.

I can love her for her highest potential, which means that it is her

business to see how that is revealed for her, and how she goes about

showing it, and her love, to me.

I'm giving a gift of love when I consciously attend to how she feels

about herself, in my presence. From that perspective, all forms of

tenderness are as equally great as sex is, and there is no grasping

or neediness coming from me. I am able to stay in the moment, and

invite her to follow me or not, her choice and her business.

Isn't change fantastic?

[Guest guest]

that's one of the absolutely best turnarounds I've ever heard. thanks for

sharing it with us. that turnaround proves the wonderfulness (word?) of the

Work.

Vivian

Re: he'll love me if i have sex with him

Hi Pip - Happy holidays!

This reminds me of one I was working on a while back, and finding the

greater truth really has helped me.

My one-liner about my girlfriend was " If you love me, you will do

what I want. " Similar to yours.

Here is the TA that changed my life and why -

TA - If I love me, you will do what you want.

It's a reminder of that problem of being in someone else's business.

The best thing I can do is be in my own business, loving myself,

loving her, and give her the freedom to do her own loving in the way

that is best for her.

I can love her for her highest potential, which means that it is her

business to see how that is revealed for her, and how she goes about

showing it, and her love, to me.

I'm giving a gift of love when I consciously attend to how she feels

about herself, in my presence. From that perspective, all forms of

tenderness are as equally great as sex is, and there is no grasping

or neediness coming from me. I am able to stay in the moment, and

invite her to follow me or not, her choice and her business.

Isn't change fantastic?

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