inquiry on 's family should like me....ha ha

[Guest guest]

john's family should like me/appreciate me.

iit? yes

can i absolutley know that it is true? can i know that i would be

happier if john/s family liked/appreciated me? can i know what is

best for my path/their path?

no

how do i react when i think they should like me and it appears that

they don't?

i get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. i get nervous in their

presence...and addictins kick in. like drinking too much last night

at dinner and becoming a babbling idiot. i behave in ways that could

serve to reinforce a negative perception of me. i see them as judging

me, being judgmental and critical. i judge and critique my own

behavior and feel ashamed and pathetic.

who would i be without the thought ''s famly should

like/appreciate me?

less nervousness, simply present and available, not trying to impress

or be seen as 'good enuf' ... relaxed and enjoying the're company on

christmas day. able to just be myself regardless of their opinion. i

would be out of their business and home with myself, i wouldn't feel

that lost, vulnerable feeling, i'd be appreciating myself. i wouldnt

have felt nervous and wouldn't have drank too much wine in order to

try to compensate, making matters worse. i would be feeling fine

today, i would not be obsessing over whether or not i made a fool of

myself last night, i could get on with my day and see what needs to be

done, appreciate the time i have to myself rather than torment myself

with how i shoujld have done things differently last night.

(other thoughts to inquire in to: i made a fool of myself, i should

have done things differently, i shouldnt feel lost and vulnerable, i

drank too much)

t.a. john's family shouldnt like/appreciate me.

true. the;y have a right to feel waht they feel and to like whomever

they like.

i should like/appreciate john's family. yes. i feel very critical of

them when i am trying to dictate how they should feel about me. i

can\t make myself like them when i don\t so we have everything in

common!

i should like/appreciate me. yes. i feel very critical and do not

appreciate the part of me that gets nervous and insecure and tends to

drink too much. i hate that part of myself and feel a tremendous

amount of self-loathing towards myself, tons of shame. how can i

expect them to like me when i have so much difficulty doing it myself?