HE's not intimate with me

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He's not intimate with me

1, yes

2, no

3, I shut down, pull back, feel used, feel scared, I find all the

ways he's not being intimate with me and don't see the ways he is. I

feel my body contract, My stomach feels heavy and I get out there

into the future. I go into a space of comparing and contrasting the

past and the future, I tell myself I can't go though what happened

before again. I see this future where I'm completely out of control.

I see myself as completely in denial of the situation. We have these

great sexual interactions and I feel shame after because i tell

myself that it's the only way he can be intimate with me. I feel sad

that outr conversations seem to only go in one direction.

I treat him as if he's not capable, i seduce him because it feel like

it's the only way i can get him to be intimate with me.

I treat myself as if there's something wrong with me, as if i can

only have intimacy thru sex.

i get angry at myself for creating the same situation, i tell myself

off for enjoying the sexual interaction.

i think this thought protects me from making the same mistake again,

i get to be right that intimacy should look a certain way and that

i'd be happy if i got it.

the worst thing that could happen if I couldn't believe this thought

is that I'd make the same mistake again, not read the warning signs,

be hurt and heartbroken again, good to notice that this thought

didn't protect me from that the last time.

I'm in his business.

4, I would be noticing all the ways he is intimate with me, I would

feel peaceful, in my own business, holding myself, telling myself all

the things i want his to say to me.

I would notice that he shares his inner world with me alot. I would

stop keeping score, I would enjoy the wonderful intimacy we do have.

I would stop wanting validation from him.

I would be holding my own and getting on with my own life, present

enjoying the one i'm with and being intimate with everyone.

T.A He is being intimate with me

1, yes he tells me how he feels about me and he tells me I'm

beautiful and I notice how I say I know to not take it on board.

2, yesterday we spent 2 hours playing online monopoly together and

shared a fun time

3, he's intimate with me when he tells me he thinks i'm great and

amazing and he feels like there's something missing.

4, he's intimate with me when he offers business advice

5, he was intimate with me tonight by telling me he was tired and

didn't feel like talking,

6, he's intimate with me when he gets online and asks how i am every

day

7, he;s intimate with me when he wants to know what i'm thinking .

8, he's intimate with me when he tells me he doesn't want me to look

outside myself for validation.

9, he's intimate with me by being true to himself and not saying yes

to me because he wants something from me

T.A I'm not intimate with him

1, I didn't share with him that my mind was spinning out over the

situation between us this morning.

2,I'm not intimate with him in the moment I think he's not being

intimate with me because I'm with holding.

3,I'm not intimate with him because I haven't told himI'm scared of

him coming back for fear of making the same mistakes again.

4, I'm not intimate with him when i think he's being intimate with me

will give me something because i'm not being who i truly am, i'm not

being myself

5, when i don't see who he really is and when i don't listen to him

telling me that he feels like there is something missing , i'm still

holding onto a fantasy..

6, i'm not intimate with him when i try and shape myself into this

sex goddess to win his L.A.A

7, I'm not intimate with him when I'm looking for validation from him

and when I use sex as a way to get it.

T.A I'm not intimate with me

1, when I go outsie myself to try and get intimacy from someone else

2, when i go along with his sexual advances and don't say no

3, when i get get out of myself into his business trying to please

him.

4, when i don't say no lets just talk today.

5, sometimes i run around trying to avoid my feelings

6, i don't do the things i really wanna do sometimes because i want

someone else to do it with me

7, i don't meet my own needs

8, i'm too busy trying to get it from him and thinking it should look

a particular way that I loose touch with the reality of whats going

on.

9, when i get into a fantasy about him