Should I write all work out?

[Guest guest]

I find myself doing the work in my head alot...so I decided to write this one

out and see

where it leads (already did in my head but maybe there is more)

IS IT OK TO STOP AT THE HEAD OR SHOULD I ALWAYS WRITE IT OUT? Posting here

seems to be more of a release than writing on my paper. Is that true??? I guess

I could

work on it too!

Thought:

I should have told her how much she meant to me and that I loved her

True? No can't know...plus I didn't ..in words

How do I feel with this thought...sick, sad, depressed, frustrated cause I can't

tell her

now, it is like a dark cloud over me always cause she is/was the one person in

my life

that seemed to care for/about me, feel like screaming at the top of my lungs-

frustration- with not knowing if I will ever see her again (realized she does

" visit " me as

says:)

How would I feel without thought in my life now?

free to be with family and others, really be present with them and TELL them I

love them

and how much I care about them. Peaceful. maybe see some of what she seen in

nature

and people, have qualities like her??

can I see a stress free reason to keep the thought: I should have told her how

much she

meant to me and that I loved her? No...cause when it pops up I immediately have

an

overwhelming sadness, emptyness etc

Turn around:

I shouldn't have told her how much she meant to me and that I loved her...cause

I didn't

I DID tell her how much she meant to me and that I loved her..I was there

helping her,

taking her to the doctor, spending time with her, I did things and gave her

things to

make her feel better

I should tell myself how much I mean to me and that I love me..yes it could be

like a

warm soft enveloping blanket. In turn I could love others.

This work has helped so much...the hardest is not knowing if I will see her

again...I have

" beliefs " but as Adyashanti says beliefs are not reality...I don't know what is

to come...I

guess I can have hope but not attach to it so it takes away from my now.

To the post about Mom and Movies...if you can...go NOW with her:)