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i met a girl online (3rd this evening), and it seems we have chemistry.

i observe how my mind runs with its usual routine of getting stressed

because of it.

i shouldn't fuck this up

is this true?

yes

how do you react this thought?

stress. none stop thinking about her, obsession, worried.

who would you be without it?

i dont know..

i'd be with one less stressful thought. more relaxed, more flow and

authenticity.

T.A: i should fuck this up

could be it's not it and she's not for me, and being myself totally is

the best way to put it to the test.

T.A: she shouldn't fuck this up

cause im into it (at the moment) and if she chooses to reject or she

looses interest it's not my business.

she will lose interest in me

is this true?

donno.

how do you react the thought?

fear, stress, defend against it by pleasing and being overly nice.

who would oyu be without it?

less anxious, relaxed, more present, letting things go their own

speed, not pressuring it, not trying too hard, and more connected with

myself.

T.A: she wont lose interest in me

could be just as true. not one can tell the future.

T.A: i will lose interest in me

thats what happening when i need approval and make some girl better

than me, she becomes more interesting for me than myself.

T.A: she will grow interest in me

maybe.

T.A: i will lose interest in her

can't conceive this at the moment but it's possible.

im not enough for myself

is this true?

no. it isn't.

how do react this belief?

stepping outside myself, looking for the stuff that i need, trying to

fill the fictional hole, it's the essence of all of my suffering.

would you be without that belief?

relaxed. wouldn't mind staying alone forever, i'd behave alot

differently i suppose.

T.A: im enough for myself

except for mental issues it's evident that i am.

i need her approval

is this true?

yes

can you really know that?

no.

how do you react this thought?

suffering. stress, pleasing, losing myself.

who would you be without that thought?

more present, loving myself first.

T.A: i dont need her approval

i really dont, except for mental issues .. in reality i dont.

T.A: i need my own approval

right.. that's all i can get anyway.

T.A: she needs my approval

could be.

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