Guest guest Posted March 18, 2008 Report Share Posted March 18, 2008 That is just too damn funny!!!!! Sometimes I wish that all the idiots would just identify themselves at the beginning of our conversation. You know, like they do in 12 step recovery groups... " Hi, my name is ________ and I am an idiot. " That way we could all know who we are dealing with from the beginning. I would have to say, " Hi I'm Rita, and I'm a judgemental asshole! " Well..... it beats being an idiot, doesn't it? I loved your story! " Lotacatz>^.^ wrote: Subject: Purina Dog Food The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this? Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the Wonder Dog and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore. Lotacats >^.^< Express Chronic Pain Awareness http://www.cafepress.com/lotacatspix/2715248 Myspace http://www.myspace.com/lotacats __________________________________________________________ Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping LIVE AND LET LIVE RITA --------------------------------- Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Hi catz This is a good one. I had heard it before. I'll have to try and remember it as I know have a miniature schnauzer and will be buying dog food. Hugs Diane-Minnesota > > Subject: Purina Dog Food > > > The next time someone asks you a dumb question > wouldn't you like to respond like this? > > Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog > chow for Athena the Wonder Dog and was about to check out. > A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. > > What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, > on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was > starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't, > because I'd ended up > in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an > intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and > IVs in both arms. > > I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is > to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two > every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete > so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that > practically everyone > in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) > > Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog > food poisoned me. > > I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass > and a car hit us both. > > I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was > laughing so hard! > > WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore. > > > Lotacats >^.^< > Express Chronic Pain Awareness > http://www.cafepress.com/lotacatspix/2715248 > Myspace > http://www.myspace.com/lotacats > > > ______________________________________________________________________ ______________ > Looking for last minute shopping deals? > Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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