Re: Fwd: FW: A nun grading papers

[Guest guest]

From: IonaDove@...

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Sent: 5/24/2012 8:39:39 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time

Subj: Fwd: FW: A nun grading papers

Enjoy!

From: jennifer@...

To: IonaDove@...

Sent: 5/23/2012 11:19:28 P.M. Eastern

Daylight Time

Subj: FW: A nun grading papers

J

A Nun

Grading Papers

CAN YOU

IMAGINE THE

NUN SITTING AT

HER DESK

GRADING THESE

PAPERS, ALL

THE WHILE

TRYING TO KEEP

A STRAIGHT

FACE AND

MAINTAIN HER

COMPOSURE!

..

KIDS WERE

ASKED

QUESTIONS

ABOUT THE OLD

AND NEW

TESTAMENTS.

THE FOLLOWING

STATEMENTS

ABOUT THE

BIBLE WERE

WRITTEN BY

CHILDREN. THEY

HAVE NOT BEEN

RETOUCHED OR

CORRECTED.

INCORRECT

SPELLING HAS

BEEN LEFT IN.

1. IN

THE FIRST BOOK

OF THE BIBLE,

GUINESSIS. GOD

GOT TIRED OF

CREATING THE

WORLD SO HE

TOOK THE

SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND

EVE WERE

CREATED FROM

AN APPLE TREE.

NOAH'S WIFE

WAS JOAN OF

ARK. NOAH

BUILT AND ARK

AND THE

ANIMALS CAME

ON IN PEARS..

3. LOTS WIFE

WAS A PILLAR

OF SALT DURING

THE DAY, BUT A

BALL OF FIRE

DURING THE

NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS

WERE A PROUD

PEOPLE AND

THROUGHOUT

HISTORY THEY

HAD TROUBLE

WITH

UNSYMPATHETIC

GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS

A STRONGMAN

WHO LET

HIMSELF BE LED

ASTRAY BY A

JEZEBEL LIKE

DELILAH.

6. SAMSON

SLAYED THE

PHILISTINES

WITH THE AXE

OF THE

APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED

THE JEWS TO

THE RED SEA

WHERE THEY

MADE

UNLEAVENED

BREAD, WHICH

IS BREAD

WITHOUT ANY

INGREDIENTS.

8. THE

EGYPTIANS WERE

ALL DROWNED IN

THE DESSERT.

AFTERWARDS,

MOSES WENT UP

TO

MOUNTCYANIDE

TO GET THE TEN

COMMANDMENTS .

9. THE FIRST

COMMANDMENTS

WAS WHEN EVE

TOLD ADAM TO

EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE

SEVENTH

COMMANDMENT IS

THOU SHALT NOT

ADMIT

ADULTERY.

11.

MOSES DIED

BEFORE HE EVER

REACHED CANADA

THEN JOSHUA

LED THE

HEBREWS IN THE

BATTLE OF

GERITOL.

12. THE

GREATEST

MIRICLE IN THE

BIBLE IS WHEN

JOSHUA TOLD

HIS SON TO

STAND STILL

AND HE OBEYED

HIM.

13. DAVID WAS

A HEBREW KING

WHO WAS

SKILLED AT

PLAYING THE

LIAR. HE

FOUGHT THE

FINKELSTEINS,

A RACE OF

PEOPLE WHO

LIVED IN

BIBLICAL

TIMES.

14.. SOLOMON,

ONE OF DAVIDS

SONS, HAD 300

WIVES AND 700

PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY

HEARD SHE WAS

THE MOTHER OF

JESUS, SHE

SANG THE MAGNA

CARTA.

16. WHEN THE

THREE WISE

GUYS FROM THE

EAST SIDE

ARRIVED THEY

FOUND JESUS IN

THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS

BORN BECAUSE

MARY HAD AN

IMMACULATE

CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN

THE BLACKSMITH

DUMPED WATER

ON HIS HEAD.

19.. JESUS

ENUNCIATED THE

GOLDEN RULE,

WHICH SAYS TO

DO UNTO OTHERS

BEFORE THEY DO

ONE TO YOU. HE

ALSO EXPLAINED

A MAN DOTH NOT

LIVE BY SWEAT

ALONE..

20. IT WAS A

MIRICLE WHEN

JESUS ROSE

FROM THE DEAD

AND MANAGED TO

GET THE

TOMBSTONE OFF

THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE

WHO FOLLOWED

THE LORD WERE

CALLED THE 12

DECIBELS.

22. THE

EPISTELS WERE

THE WIVES OF

THE APOSTLES..

23. ONE OF THE

OPPOSSUMS WAS

ST. MATTHEW

WHO WAS ALSO A

TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL

CAVORTED TO

CHRISTIANITY,

HE PREACHED

HOLY ACRIMONY,

WHICH IS

ANOTHER NAME

FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS

HAVE ONLY ONE

SPOUSE. THIS

IS CALLED

MONOTONY.

I can't stop laughing.

[Guest guest]

I love all of them but these two nearly did me in! ROFL

Blissings,

Sam

http://sampatron.wordpress.com

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE. 25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY

[Guest guest]

These are great, mostly because there's a lot of truth in some of the responses, i.e. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.