Guest guest Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Isn't Shana great, you guys? So, this is my third Thanksgiving with BPD awareness. The first one, my best friend and her boyfriend took me out to eat at a fun restaraunt, where I had oyster stuffing for the first time. My family ever only cooked cornbread stuffing. So, that was pretty cool. The second one, though, I just spent hanging out at my apartment, a few hours' drive from the FOO. I think I got Mc's or something. That was only a few months after the hurricane, so I was still reeling, and certainly not up for a trapped meal w/those people. Then this is the third one, and I'm in yet another city, and I'm co- hosting a party tonight w/a few other chums. It should be fun. I want to say that there is a part of me that is very traditional and wants to feel a part of a community. I DO wish that I was with a family having a turkey meal today. A BIG family. And I think that's okay, that's okay to mourn it. For those of us who want it, I think it's okay to work for it. I think it's also okay to recognize that holidays come in all shapes and sizes, and it's okay to do whatever you enjoy most, or whatever is most and best available to you. I do miss it, but it's okay not to dwell on that, and to celebrate that, the next time I AM involved in such a meal, it will be outside of Oz, and abuse-free! Love Charlie > > > > > > > > > > > > WOW I just got off the phone with the Doctor > > > who I had been > > > going > > > > > > back and forth about calling back. Thanks so > > > much for the > > > advice > > > > > > about whether to call her, you guys. I called > > > her back and I > > > am > > > > > > really glad that I did. > > > > > > > > > > > > Turns out that this Dr is a psychiatrist. She > > > initially > > > talked > > > > > > about how my nada cannot live alone because > > > she cannot > > > ambulate. > > > > > > There was some discussion with one of her > > > friends in DE about > > > her > > > > > > living there, but that fell through. Now they > > > want to know if > > > > > there > > > > > > is anything 'the family' can do to help or > > > else they will have > > > to > > > > > > look into some other option for her living > > > arrangements. > > > > > > > > > > > > I told her under no circumstances was I going > > > to even talk to > > > my > > > > > > nada no less take her in. Then we got into a > > > discussion about > > > her > > > > > > mental problems. I told her that my nada has > > > a long standing > > > > > > diagnosis of bipolar disorder, but that I > > > think there is more > > > > > going > > > > > > on. When I said that, she immediately said > > > " Are you talking > > > about > > > > > > Borderline Personality Disorder? " and I said > > > " OH MY GOD YES I > > > > > AM. " > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, she indicated that she was certainly > > > aware that my > > > nada > > > > > was > > > > > > abusive. (Apparently she has been abusive to > > > the staff at the > > > > > > hospital, too.) She also said that BPD is > > > part of my nada's > > > > > > diagnosis, and that she had given my nada some > > > literature > > > about > > > > > > modifying her behavior, but that nada (of > > > course) refused to > > > admit > > > > > > that her problems in relationships were her > > > own doing (of > > > course > > > > > > everyone else is the problem, certainly not > > > her!) > > > > > > > > > > > > I guess she really screwed herself up with > > > this last suicide > > > > > > attempt, the Doctor says that she is in a > > > wheelchair. I hate > > > to > > > > > > think of her in a shelter or something but I > > > cannot take her > > > in. > > > > > > This onyl strengthen my resolve to be NC, > > > because she has a > > > > > > professional diagnosis, and I KNOW that there > > > is NOTHING I can > > > do > > > > > to > > > > > > help her. She HAS to help herself, and since > > > that is highly > > > > > > unlikely, I have to continue to go about the > > > task of healing > > > my > > > > > life > > > > > > and protecting myself and my family. > > > > > > > > > > > > But she FINALLY has a BPD diagnosis! What she > > > will do with > > > it, if > > > > > > anything, I don't know. After 32 years of > > > wondering what was > > > > > wrong > > > > > > with my nada, and after a month wondering why > > > no doctors have > > > > > > recognized her BPD in all those hospital stays > > > (when it took > > > about > > > > > a > > > > > > half hour to figure out on google last month), > > > this is a big > > > deal. > > > > > > > > > > > > Thanks for listening and being there. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ > > Sponsored Link > > > > Online or Campus degree Associate's, Bachelor's, or Master's > > in less than one year.www.findtherightschool.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!!! This morning I woke up with my 2 boys about 6:30 and we talked about all the things we are thankful for under the Christmas tree in their bed room! Everything from our voice and fingers to toys house and family and flowers. We also talked about why we are thankful for each thing we listed. For example they decided it would be hard to ask mom for a cheese sandwich if they didn't have a voice! Now they are upstairs watching the parade on TV I can hear they are a little hyper because they are doing flips! But today we are going to my grandmas house. It seems like each year things are getting smaller. But I am happy to be out of the drama and if it means things are smaller than so be it. I guess I would rather weed out the ugly and have it be small than have it be large and all the crazies be there to! Later we are going to some friends house they invite us each year. My BIL will also be there. They are very kind to us and have seen us through all the drama of going n/c. So that is our plan. Hope you all have a happy day free of drama and fog! Lots of love and I want you to all know I am so thankful for each one of you here and I don't lie when I say that I do say prayers for you! I really care for you and I wish you all the best. Love Lizzy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > WOW I just got off the phone with the Doctor > > > > who I had been > > > > going > > > > > > > back and forth about calling back. Thanks so > > > > much for the > > > > advice > > > > > > > about whether to call her, you guys. I called > > > > her back and I > > > > am > > > > > > > really glad that I did. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Turns out that this Dr is a psychiatrist. She > > > > initially > > > > talked > > > > > > > about how my nada cannot live alone because > > > > she cannot > > > > ambulate. > > > > > > > There was some discussion with one of her > > > > friends in DE about > > > > her > > > > > > > living there, but that fell through. Now they > > > > want to know if > > > > > > there > > > > > > > is anything 'the family' can do to help or > > > > else they will have > > > > to > > > > > > > look into some other option for her living > > > > arrangements. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I told her under no circumstances was I going > > > > to even talk to > > > > my > > > > > > > nada no less take her in. Then we got into a > > > > discussion about > > > > her > > > > > > > mental problems. I told her that my nada has > > > > a long standing > > > > > > > diagnosis of bipolar disorder, but that I > > > > think there is more > > > > > > going > > > > > > > on. When I said that, she immediately said > > > > " Are you talking > > > > about > > > > > > > Borderline Personality Disorder? " and I said > > > > " OH MY GOD YES I > > > > > > AM. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Anyway, she indicated that she was certainly > > > > aware that my > > > > nada > > > > > > was > > > > > > > abusive. (Apparently she has been abusive to > > > > the staff at the > > > > > > > hospital, too.) She also said that BPD is > > > > part of my nada's > > > > > > > diagnosis, and that she had given my nada some > > > > literature > > > > about > > > > > > > modifying her behavior, but that nada (of > > > > course) refused to > > > > admit > > > > > > > that her problems in relationships were her > > > > own doing (of > > > > course > > > > > > > everyone else is the problem, certainly not > > > > her!) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I guess she really screwed herself up with > > > > this last suicide > > > > > > > attempt, the Doctor says that she is in a > > > > wheelchair. I hate > > > > to > > > > > > > think of her in a shelter or something but I > > > > cannot take her > > > > in. > > > > > > > This onyl strengthen my resolve to be NC, > > > > because she has a > > > > > > > professional diagnosis, and I KNOW that there > > > > is NOTHING I can > > > > do > > > > > > to > > > > > > > help her. She HAS to help herself, and since > > > > that is highly > > > > > > > unlikely, I have to continue to go about the > > > > task of healing > > > > my > > > > > > life > > > > > > > and protecting myself and my family. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But she FINALLY has a BPD diagnosis! What she > > > > will do with > > > > it, if > > > > > > > anything, I don't know. After 32 years of > > > > wondering what was > > > > > > wrong > > > > > > > with my nada, and after a month wondering why > > > > no doctors have > > > > > > > recognized her BPD in all those hospital stays > > > > (when it took > > > > about > > > > > > a > > > > > > > half hour to figure out on google last month), > > > > this is a big > > > > deal. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Thanks for listening and being there. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _____________________________________________________________________ _______________ > > > Sponsored Link > > > > > > Online or Campus degree Associate's, Bachelor's, or Master's > > > in less than one year.www.findtherightschool.com > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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