Guest guest Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 T doesn't love me T DOESN'T LOVE ME 1, YES WHY WOULD HE BREAK UP WITH ME OTHERWISE 2, NO 3, I FEEL SAD AND LONELY, I FEEL HURT AND REJECTED, I FEEL LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG OR I'M FUCKED UP OR FLAWED IN SOME WAY. I'M NOT PRESENT, MY MIND IS BUSY WITH WHAT I DID WRONG I MAKE HIS LOVE REALLY IMPORTANT. I CRY AND FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF, THIS THOUGHT FIRST OCCURED TO ME WITH MY FATHER WHEN I WAS A SMALL CHILD I GET TO BE A VICTIM, I GET TO BE RIGHT THAT I DON'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED. I GET TO BELIEVE IF HE LOVED ME I'D BE HAPPY. THE WORST THING THAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I COULDN'T BELIEVE THIS THOUGHT ANYMORE IS... I DON'T KNOW IT ACTUALY SEEMS LIKE A FUCKING POINTLESS THOUGHT.. OK LET ME SIT WITH THIS ..I CAN'T FIND IT.. ANY OTHER THOUGHT ARE APPRECIATED HERE. I'M IN HIS BUSINESS. IT'S HIS BUSINESS WHO HE LOVES AND MINE WHO I LOVE. THIS THOUGHT BRINGS ME STRESS 4, I WOULD BE GETTING ON WITH MY LIFE, I WOULD THINK OF HIM SWEETLY, I WOULD BE HAPPY IN THIS MOMENT, I WOULD KNOW IT'S ALL PERFECT. I WOULD BE STTING HERE CROSS LEGGED TYPING, I WOULD BE HAPPY AND FREE, I WOULD BE WELCOMNG THE UNKNOWN, I WULD BE THANKFUL FOR THE FREETIME I HAVE TO WORK ON PROJECTS, I WOULD BE EXCITED ABOUT WHAT LIFE WILL BRING NEXT. I WOULD BE CONFIDENT AND HAPPY, I WOULD KNOW THAT WE WERE TOGETHER FOR THE PERFECT AMOUNT OF TIME AND FOR THE PERFECT LESSONS TO BE LEARNT I WOULD LET GO AND MOVE ON. I WOULD CRUISE I WOULD LIVE MY LIFE KNOWING THAT IT WAS SWEET AND FUN AND AMAZING TO BE SHOWN ANOTHER WAY.. I WOULD REMEMBER OUR TIME AND SEE IT'S GIFT.. T.A HE DOES LOVE ME 1, THIS IS DEFINATELY TRUER BECAUSE HERE I AM WHERE I WAS 4 MONTHS AGO WANTING TO DISCOVER MYSELF AND HE HAS GIVEN ME THE FREEDOM TO DO THAT. 2, BECAUSE I WAS NEVER GONNA REALLY START SHOWING UP FOR MYSELF WHILE I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP 3 BY TEACHING ME IT'S OK TO BE MYSELF AND TO BE HONEST AND BY SHOWING UP FOR ME AND BEING AVAILABLE AND SHOWING ME HOW A RELATIONSHIP WITH A LOVING PRSON COULD LOOK. 4, BE BEING MY MIRROR FOR HOW SWEET I AM T.A I DON'T LOVE ME 1, WHEN I BELIEVE THIS THOUGHT I GO INTO WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME 2, WHEN I THINK THAT HE'S GONNA DO THAT FOR ME AND I LOOK TO HIM FOR MY SELF ESTEEM 3, WHEN I'M NOT SPEAKING MY TRUTH, SHARING WHERE I'M AT OR GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS WITH GUYS THAT ARE NOT AVAILABLE 4, WHEN I EAT WHEN I'M NOT HUNGRY T.A I DON'T LOVE HIM 1, WHEN I BELIEVE HE SHOULD STILL BE WITH ME FOR MY OWN SELFISH REASONS 2, WHEN THINK HE DOESN'T LOVE ME I FORGET THAT I LOVE IM AS I'M WRAPPED UP IN SELF PITY 3, THERE HAVE BEEN ALOT OF MOMENTS WHEN I DIDN'T FEEL I LOVED HIM 4, IF I'M NOT HAPPY THAT HE'S GETTING ON WITH HIS LIFE AND DOING WHAT'S RIGHT FOR HIM.. AND STRANGELY ENOUGH I AM HAPPY FOR HIM AND THAT FEELS GOOD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Great work Pip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Beautiful work, Pip. Lovely lovely... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2008 Report Share Posted May 19, 2008 Nice work, Pip! - Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. Rumi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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