(No subject)

[Guest guest]

I want to love (more).

1) Is it true?

Yes

2) Can you absolutely know it's true?

No

- And it means that...

- What do you think you would have?

I think I would have a story that matches my expectations.. A lover for

whom I have romantic feelings.

- What's the worst that could happen?

I could feel like I'm living a charade. Like my lover is someone I don't

love. I'm just with him because he's the father of my child... and

because there's nothing wrong.

-What's the should?

People should be in love with their partners. Or at least in a lot of

like.

3) How do you react when you think that thought?

I feel apathetic about our relationship... I see it as lacking. I wonder

if there's something wrong with us. I feel bored with us.

Can you see a reason to drop that thought? (And please don't)

Sure.

4) Who would you be without that thought?

Accepting of what is. Without judgement, or an agenda... without feeling

like I need more... just being.

Turnaround

I want to love myself (more). (Yes! So true. It's all a reflection of

me. The more I inquire my beliefs, the less needy and fearful I am. I

don't think the love I felt for before was really love. It was

need and fear. It was relief that someone had the same stories as me.

But now that's gone. And what's left is me. I feel neutral about me...

blah about me... and so that's how I feel about ).

I want to not love (more). (That makes sense. I'm learning from

this position... if I loved him more, I wouldn't be learning right now.

I'd be growing in self-righteousness that we're doing this right, and

others are doing it wrong).

3 benefits of how it is:

-I'm learning a lot about myself.

-We already have so much good communication and an amazing child... we

enjoy our child together so much...

-i have more understanding for others going through similar feelings

-maybe we will meet other people, and that couldn't happen unless we

went through this first