Re: good housekeeping ??!!

[Guest guest]

, great list of rules, and ones that are easy to keep!LOL!

birdie

> 10 housekeeping rules to make your life easier ...

> 1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a

> serious face and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet

> Fresh.

> 2. Dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename

the

> area under the couch " The Galapagos Islands " and claim an ecological

> exemption.

> 3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful

filter

> against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor

of

> " 5 " and leave it alone.

> 4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the

> bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband

points out

> that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and

exclaim,

> " What? And spoil the mood? "

> 5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of

unread

> magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable

Feng

> Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll

your

> eyes when you say this.

> 6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by

> claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn

play

> animals for underprivileged children.

> 7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into

one

> room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy

home,

> rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, " I'd love

you to

> see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO

> expensive. "

> 8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on

the

> coffee table and insist, " THIS is where Grandma wanted us to

scatter her

> ashes... "

> 9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty

wall

> with an assortment of crayons and try to muster a glint of tears as

you

> say, " Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident...I

> haven't had the heart to clean it. "

> 10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four

cups of

> water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags

in

> conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look. Throw yourself

onto

> the couch and sigh, " I clean and I clean, and I still don't get

> anywhere... "