Guest guest Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 hi there! thanks for your work. something to consider: it may be helpful to bread down your original statement into a simpler form. I would consider questioning : He is mad (yes you have all the evidence, his tone of voice, silence, the look, etc, and can you really know that he is mad? in this moment?) also: I did something wrong (and therefore he is mad) Keep the t.a. as close to the original statement as possible. Sit with them and find 3 reasons that the turn around is as true as the original statement. 3 reason that really and truly make sense and FEEL true for you. These are reminders that I need for my own work, they help me move deeper, get underneath the surface. And of course, if none of this seems helpful to you than it is just for my own benefit. Thank you for your work, I appreciate it. C. Subject: I need... To: Loving-what-is Received: Sunday, December 28, 2008, 10:03 AM I need him to tell me what I did wrong true...feels like I can't go on with my day can you know that you really need him to tell you why he is mad and what you did wrong? no How do I feel with the thought, I need him to tell me why he is mad and what I did wrong? frustrated, mad, angry, cause I don't know why he got mad, my mind is replaying the conversation and I feel I did nothing wrong!!! I just want to say f u How would I feel without the thought I need him to tell me why he is mad and what I did wrong? just be peaceful with myself, able to do what I want to do today, this moment, not have anger stress in the back of my mind or underlying my feelings, I would be looking, feeling, seeing, hearing what is right now Turn around: I do not need him to tell me why he is mad and what I did wrong...yeh I am breathing, still alive, can function, it will come out in due time I need to stay in my own business as I can't tell him what he should do or think...let him be. I need to tell myself why I am mad and what I am doing wrong...yeh why does his reaction bother me so? If I am content with myself and I stay in my business and let him be him, why am I mad??? I am spinning stories in my head about what he is doing and making it sound like I am right and he is wrong and I don't deserve this...deserve what?? I am still here sitting on the couch just fine with a day a head and it is my thoughts that are paralyzing me. My thoughts are wrong, my thoughts make me mad, I feel I need his love and approval ( I guess another work???) can I conclude? I am...I am fine..go about my day, he will come around when he comes around, it is what it is, thinking he shouldn't be ignoring me, punishing me, or be mad at me is fighting reality...but I care about myself and will continue on...and I care about him and hope I can see him for him IDK??? if I feel any resolution.. . sorry so long __________________________________________________________________ Instant Messaging, free SMS, sharing photos and more... Try the new Yahoo! Canada Messenger at http://ca.beta.messenger.yahoo.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 28, 2008 Report Share Posted December 28, 2008 This might help... Why do you need him to tell you what you did wrong / what he is mad about.... because? What don't you want to happen? Don't want him to be mad with you, want life to be happy, peaceful... if this is a relationship, don't want him to leave you? Or try out - He is mad at me and it means that ....... Jon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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