Re: I'm not worthy of hugs

[Guest guest]

Dear Churyl,

Thank you for posting your work.

> Yes

>

When I do the work, I like to take some time with the first and second answers.

For instance, I like to find evidence why I think a yes or no should be the

answer. I might find evidence for both, and a no might be a legitimate answer,

if that's the first thing that comes up for me.

Here is the place where I can write down the traitor, for instance something

just happened that led me to do the work. What was it? I badly wanted a hug and

she would not give it to me.

> No

>

And here, again, I can write down why I chose a yes or a no as an answer. It is

more pertinent if I write it down. No I cannot absolutely know it is true that

it would have been the best for my or her path to give me a hug at that moment.

If I do write these things down, then I can check the next time I have a similar

thought, and see if the situation is the same one, or if it has changed. I might

have trouble with the same thoughts in different situations. This can help me to

realize that it did work to analyze the former thoughts, because it was in

another situation. Without this, I might get frustrated, because I think the

work is not working. And if it is the same situation, I can see that I might

have to inquire deeper.

> When I think " I'm not worthy of hugs " I feel so hurt. I feel like vomiting. I

feel like a little child who is cold and alone and left out. I feel so sad. I

withdraw. I want to find someone else who will hug me. But then they hug me too

much or not enough and it doesn't work. I shut down and shut out.

>

And sometimes they do hug me and it doesn't feel real. It does not feel honest.

And I cannot accept it.

so, not only do I want them to hugh me at the right time, but it should feel

right, too. They have to do it the right way!

>

> Who would I be without the thought: " I'm not worthy of hugs " ? I would ask to

snuggle more. I wouldn't measure whether the other person wanted to a lot or a

little. Or whether they liked hugging someone else more. I would feel the love

emanating from within and the connection of love between everything. And that

would be more than enough. There would be no illusion of separateness.

>

And imagine how it feels to be hugged if we don't demand it. Even if we never

said it out loud, we might have tried to use looks or other words or other

actions, to get a hug that ultimately we could not even enjoy.

___

> I'm worthy of hugs.

>

Feel that.

> Everyone is. Whether they get them or not has nothing to do with them, and

everything to do with the other person.

>

I would like to experience the number six on this, too:

I am willing to experience not to be hugged when I think I should be.

I am looking forward to experience not to be hugged when I think I should be.

This might have been a " she should hug me! " , too.

Thank you for posting this.

Hugs,

[Guest guest]

Hugs,

The Buddhist monk, Thic Nhat Han says he repeats a gata before hugging. " This is

_______ she is alive in my arms. " After having read this I do a little

preparation when it is time for hugs. I go inside and relax and get really soft

and hug from there. Sometimes I silently repeat the gata.

This is a good one for me too.

stressful thoughts:

" Hugging makes me nervous. "

" They don't want to hug me. "

" It doesn't feel right. "

" I won't let my self have it/ want it/ feel it. "

Asking your self " And it means that: " could be helpful.

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I liked what you said about going to the situation. What arises is " I feel needy

when I ask Tom to hug me " . This makes it more personal and tells me something

about each person I want to hug.

" Tom has it more together than me. "

" Tom has more love in his life that I do. "

" Mabel will think I am stupid. "

I am surprised, I can go on and on with people and thoughts.

Thanks,

ne

[Guest guest]

Dear ne,

> I am surprised, I can go on and on with people and thoughts.

>

but only for a lifetime! ;-)

Hugs,

Am 18.04.2012 um 13:31 schrieb ne Gionet:

> Hi ,

>

> I liked what you said about going to the situation. What arises is " I feel

needy when I ask Tom to hug me " . This makes it more personal and tells me

something about each person I want to hug.

>

> " Tom has it more together than me. "

> " Tom has more love in his life that I do. "

> " Mabel will think I am stupid. "

>

> I am surprised, I can go on and on with people and thoughts.

>

> Thanks,

>

> ne

> __._,_.__

[Guest guest]

>

> Dear Churyl,

>

> Thank you for posting your work.

>

> > Yes

> >

> When I do the work, I like to take some time with the first and second

answers. For instance, I like to find evidence why I think a yes or no should be

the answer. I might find evidence for both, and a no might be a legitimate

answer, if that's the first thing that comes up for me.

>

> Here is the place where I can write down the traitor, for instance something

just happened that led me to do the work. What was it? I badly wanted a hug and

she would not give it to me.

> > No

> >

> And here, again, I can write down why I chose a yes or a no as an answer. It

is more pertinent if I write it down. No I cannot absolutely know it is true

that it would have been the best for my or her path to give me a hug at that

moment.

>

> If I do write these things down, then I can check the next time I have a

similar thought, and see if the situation is the same one, or if it has changed.

I might have trouble with the same thoughts in different situations. This can

help me to realize that it did work to analyze the former thoughts, because it

was in another situation. Without this, I might get frustrated, because I think

the work is not working. And if it is the same situation, I can see that I might

have to inquire deeper.

> > When I think " I'm not worthy of hugs " I feel so hurt. I feel like vomiting.

I feel like a little child who is cold and alone and left out. I feel so sad. I

withdraw. I want to find someone else who will hug me. But then they hug me too

much or not enough and it doesn't work. I shut down and shut out.

> >

> And sometimes they do hug me and it doesn't feel real. It does not feel

honest. And I cannot accept it.

>

> so, not only do I want them to hugh me at the right time, but it should feel

right, too. They have to do it the right way!

> >

> > Who would I be without the thought: " I'm not worthy of hugs " ? I would ask

to snuggle more. I wouldn't measure whether the other person wanted to a lot or

a little. Or whether they liked hugging someone else more. I would feel the love

emanating from within and the connection of love between everything. And that

would be more than enough. There would be no illusion of separateness.

> >

> And imagine how it feels to be hugged if we don't demand it. Even if we never

said it out loud, we might have tried to use looks or other words or other

actions, to get a hug that ultimately we could not even enjoy.

> ___

> > I'm worthy of hugs.

> >

> Feel that.

> > Everyone is. Whether they get them or not has nothing to do with them, and

everything to do with the other person.

> >

> I would like to experience the number six on this, too:

>

> I am willing to experience not to be hugged when I think I should be.

> I am looking forward to experience not to be hugged when I think I should be.

>

> This might have been a " she should hug me! " , too.

>

> Thank you for posting this.

>

> Hugs,

>

Hugging you back

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is Kay. She is alive in my arms. Now that is a treasure I'm going to hang

on to.

Thanks to all of you for posting. Your work is my work. No mistakes!

>

> Dear ne,

>

> > I am surprised, I can go on and on with people and thoughts.

> >

> but only for a lifetime! ;-)

>

> Hugs,

>

>

>

> Am 18.04.2012 um 13:31 schrieb ne Gionet:

>

> > Hi ,

> >

> > I liked what you said about going to the situation. What arises is " I feel

needy when I ask Tom to hug me " . This makes it more personal and tells me

something about each person I want to hug.

> >

> > " Tom has it more together than me. "

> > " Tom has more love in his life that I do. "

> > " Mabel will think I am stupid. "

> >

> > I am surprised, I can go on and on with people and thoughts.

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > ne

> > __._,_.__

>

>

>