when the work doesnt seem to work

March 20, 2012

Dear Friends,

Today I clarified somethign taht for me makes it difficult to use the Work and I

am wondering if anyone has any comments. This is a little bit of a paraphrase of

somethign I shared when I first started but I think using an example might help

to make it clearer.

Over the weekend I felt very unappreciated by my partner and felt like I was

beating my ehad against the wall, dealing with the same problems as always,

feeling unheard, feeling that my partner is too slow to understand what I am

asking for.

Now, we should do the Work ont hose beliefs, right?

Well I tried to and I found that basically what I was doing was running away

from a confrontation, as if by doing the work I could get rid of the

incomfortable feelings of anger and that would make my life easier. I wouldnt

have to confront him.

Needless to say, that approach does not and did not work. It seems to just have

increased my suffering.

I sat down waitign for the train to day and in my mind, I said to him how I

feel. Only then, when I really admitted where I see him as going wrong (not just

questioning the thought) did I start to feel some relief. From there I made a

plan about what to discuss with him and now I am much more clear.

This reminds me of a story that Byron mentions in 'Loving What Is' where

she says that something inside of her would tell her to wash the dishes and that

this is a story and a thought like any other, but it was a short and direct one

and when she did it, she was fine.

I feel my thoughts about confronting my partner are similar ones, that perhaps I

should just move on, but instead I hold them in and when taht becomes too

uncomfortable I try to 'work' them away because I dont want to confront another

person and I end up increasingly miserable to the point that I ahve to set aside

the Work on that situation. I don't think that the work itself is likely the

problem, but I am a bit doubtful also.

Does anyone have any similar experience?

Love to you,

Logan

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