Figure out a belief

[Guest guest]

bare with me on this one, cause i dont know what im saying or whats my

problem so i will just try to spill everything out.

so there's this thing about girls making me CRAZY i dont know what it

is.

what i know is that when i see a pretty girl walking down the street i

can just allmost go crazy. i can't take my eyes off of her.

i get really horny and tensed and feel like i must have her, i totaly

freak out.

this days i dont ever do anything about it because there was a time

when i forced myself approach girls .. and it was allways wierd and

emberacing being that streight forward, and it allways ended budly, so

i dont approach anymore or being honest to girls for how i think and

feel about them.. im allways hiding it.

today i drove my car and then i saw a cute girl walking with her friend.

she was really my taste.. btw the upseting thing was for me to find out

that girls i find to be my taste are many times everyone's taste and it

turned out that those girls get hit alot and there was nothing special

about me finding them fancy.. they are used to it, and very skilled on

how to get rid of those guys.

it's not as if they'v waited their whole life for me to see them and

for them to find me as their love of their lives. and this romantic

finding the ONE stories where what i believed my whole childhood, i

think a big part of me is this believing this.

im really frustrated about this and it is as if i have a computer virus

in my mind looking for love and sex, allthough mentaly i know it's all

bullshit.. i'v done this work many times.

anyway so i saw this girl from my car while driving and i couldn't stop

looking at her until she was out of me site.. i allmost had an accident

because of that..

that was this morning and i can't stop thinking about her till now.

i hate this .. it mess's up my life and i lose myself very easily,

not to mention i hardly ever have an actual girl.. i havn't had a

girlfriend for 7 years now.

please help me figure out what is this thing running my soul.

thanks.