Guest guest Posted August 3, 2012 Report Share Posted August 3, 2012 I keep finding this one in my thinking. It is the one story that doesn't seem to unravel, maybe because I've made it into such a religion. I want ultimate control and domination here. If I'm being perfectly frank, I want to WIN on this one. In essence, I've made money my god. No matter how many spiritual books I've read or meditations I've done... money is really what I want and crave and look to for salvation. So... " I need money to be truly happy. " 1. Is it true? Yes 2. CYAKIT? No 3. When I think that thought: self-pity, anger, despair. Frustration. Looking, looking, looking for salvation outside of myself. Not believing happiness/ salvation could *possibly* come from within. Not trusting that there is divine intelligence, because I haven't had the eyes to see it in action. No trust. Loathing of life. 4. W/o the thought: Looking at my situation, looking at the debt, and being ok with the isness of it all. Going about life without playing the dreadful waiting game. Not depending on one thing to be The Answer. Allowing myself to find my way in my own time. TA: I don't need money to be truly happy. -I've have been happy without money being in the picture (hikes, spending time with my family, reading, being engaged in a project) I need inner wealth to be truly happy. -True. I feel ashamed of myself and my life. I am creating a kind of inner poverty. I am telling myself I am deficit in any good qualities so must find redemption by either becoming wealthy or having some interesting career to give my life meaning. When neither of those things happen, I'm left with myself again... so if I could develop more self-acceptance and love, I would potentially break this loop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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