Re: Asking people for favors means I know how to delegate in an appropriate way

[Guest guest]

I have often felt the same way, when I don't wish to ask for a favor, but I

have realized that its just one more false story that I put up between myself

and others. I can never know what is true for others and I respect them enough

to ask.

Why I am reluctant to ask others for favors? Several false stories come to mind.

If I ask for help people won't like me. Is that true?

I need to be liked. Is that true?

Being liked is more important than getting my needs met.

Is that true?

If I ask they might say no - I can't handle a no.

Is that true?

If I ask for help it means I am weak.

Is that true?

Here is the truth - I admire a leader who knows how to delegate.

It has been difficult when I had a leader who could not. So

being able to ask for help is a strength. For all I know people

would be flattered and appreciative to be asked. I am.

Just call - no matter what they answer I don't have to have a story

about it.

>

> I have always had a major hesitation in calling up someone and asking them for

any favour. I feel demeaned,inferior. I feel hesitant & embarassed to again and

again remind the person to 'oblige' me. I feel subservient.

> Could someone please help me frame the words for an 'effective' belef in the

above?

> thankyou.

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Tabekat.

Being liked is more important than getting my needs met.

> Is that true?

That's the one I was looking for .Sad but has ruled my life . So I work

on the above belief first. Will do this one first .

'For all I know people> would be flattered and appreciative to be

asked.'

I have to re-check my story. I go into guilt pangs and have difficulty

in saying no when they ask me for a favor and I have to say no. I twist

and turn the request & having to say no and postpone saying no coz I

feel I should say yes. They'll judge me for not being able to do them

the favor. " A turnaround.

'Just call - no matter what they answer I don't have to have a story

> about it. '

Very soothing. A relief to drop all that unnecessary baggage.

Thankyou, Anamika.

> >

> > I have always had a major hesitation in calling up someone and

asking them for any favour. I feel demeaned,inferior. I feel hesitant &

embarassed to again and again remind the person to 'oblige' me. I feel

subservient.

> > Could someone please help me frame the words for an 'effective'

belef in the above?

> > thankyou.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think it is flattering to be asked to help someone. That means I am trusted

and valued. I would like someone for asking me for help.

You may need to recheck your premises.

Re: Asking people for favors means I know how to

delegate in an appropriate way

Thanks, Tabekat.

Being liked is more important than getting my needs met.

> Is that true?

That's the one I was looking for .Sad but has ruled my life . So I work

on the above belief first. Will do this one first .

'For all I know people> would be flattered and appreciative to be

asked.'

I have to re-check my story. I go into guilt pangs and have difficulty

in saying no when they ask me for a favor and I have to say no. I twist

and turn the request & having to say no and postpone saying no coz I

feel I should say yes. They'll judge me for not being able to do them

the favor. " A turnaround.

'Just call - no matter what they answer I don't have to have a story

> about it. '

Very soothing. A relief to drop all that unnecessary baggage.

Thankyou, Anamika.

> >

> > I have always had a major hesitation in calling up someone and

asking them for any favour. I feel demeaned,inferior. I feel hesitant &

embarassed to again and again remind the person to 'oblige' me. I feel

subservient.

> > Could someone please help me frame the words for an 'effective'

belef in the above?

> > thankyou.

> >

>