I want to walk around my neighborhood

[Guest guest]

I never really liked walking or running but now have an urge to walk, especially

since we

moved and I like the somewhat country setting. We still live in a " housing type "

area.

My thoughts that I have which " defend " not to walk, are it is too cold, people

will see me,

I may not like it and then I have to walk all the way back.

The biggest one is the people...

people will look at me and judge me??? (I am not sure what the fear or thought

is) but I

will try it

people will look at me and judge me

true? feels so

but I can't really know it...no

How do I feel with this thought?

anxious, make up reasons why not to walk (cold, other things to do etc) exposed,

naked,

like a target, scared, paralyzed

How would I feel if I took this walk and didn't have the thought " people will

look at me a

and judge me " ?

I am peaceful, smelling the air, seeing the trees, hearing the birds, looking at

the sky,

breathing, just taking it all in

Turn around:

people will not look at me and judge me

could be true, maybe no one is home, no one is outside or looks out their

window, or

maybe they just see a women walking

i look at me and judge me

true, I have always " fell " behind when i comes to running or walking with others

so I feel

inadequate, I see a women who has let herself go walking down the street

I look at and judge people

true, I am judging that they will judge me

I judge people

I look at people and compare myself

I will not judge myself

without the thought I may be able to be and enjoy the walk and the oneness

Now to just walk out the door...lol

Thanx!