sorry for monopolizing...

[Guest guest]

Last night was awful, she was more depressed and paranoid than I've seen her

since before her psych hospitalization. I was very very worried about her

state of mind and also that she kept repeating that she was going to find a

way to kill herself. So before I went to bed I called the night nurse, and

she told me my mom was ok, that she was laying on her bed all evening but

calm.

I just got off the phone with , I'd called again to see how

was doing. She said that during the night my mom was up with the staff and

laughing and really having a good time. Today she's in a good mood but

playing the victim and telling everyone that I put her there to get her

money, that if I hadn't have done it she'd still have everything that's been

taken (remember she hadn't paid her bills since last year or her taxes in

YEARS, everything was on the verge of reposession when we became aware of

all this) because she was expecting a big check, or because she'd been

talking to a banker who was going to bail her out, or whatever - but anyway,

it's all my fault. And it's been charted that she has her depressions when

I'm there, mostly; when I'm not there she's much better.

So, said that she's pretty convinced my mom is manipulating me and

playing head games - control issues or attempts to get me to get her out, or

whatever. I can handle that . At least she's turning her bad feelings

outward instead of inward and not talking about killing herself today. But

that being the case, I'll be spending the next few evenings with my family

instead of at King's. I'll send her a couple of faxes every day, just newsy

cheery light notes. I'm thinking I might start adding quotes as taglines to

my signature also, funny or light or encouraging ones to help brighten her

day. She might be able to accept those since I won't be right there.

Another possibly good thing about taking a few days off might be to help her

get more acclimated to the NH. Perhaps, I'm thinking, I've kept her with

one foot outside and one foot inside just by my continual presence there? I

don't know...but for it to ever become her home, I think I need to back off.

I'm doing her laundry today but can send that back with Pete tomorrow.

I've only decided on this in the last hour or so. Then on Saturday I can go

in with more of her clothes from her house, an ironing board, an iron, and a

free afternoon to spend with her...if she wants me to.

I will try to stop taking up so much of everyone's time now - lol! It feels

like I've done nothing but write to this group for the last couple of days

)).

You guys rock!

His,

Sherry

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