unresolved paternal complex

[Guest guest]

Dear all, I have a very sensitive matter to write about today. It is causing me

a terrible

amount of discomfort and anxiety, and if anyone can relate I would be most

grateful for

input.

It is an uncomfortable subject about father-daughter relations so if anyone

feels

squeamish about that, please feel free to stop reading here. I know *I* am

squeamish

about it--that's my problem.

I should start by saying I have a somewhat real father, who is still a dishrag,

but we get

around it much of the time--and that he has never done anything physically

inappropriate

with me. However, my therapist has helped me to see the terrible thoughts that

were put

in my head on a very regular basis by nada, that became very pervasive. She

convinced

me somehow that accepting any help from my father was equivalent to having

sexually

inappropriate contact with him. Also, I've learned that all little girls go

through an 'electra'

complex, before they know what sex is, where they want to marry their father.

My nada

instead of helping me grow out of that, tried to use it to her advantage and

encourage it, I

think.

To this day I am extremely uncomfortable alone w/my father, and I have trouble

accepting

help from him, and I can never become attracted to 'professional' men in suits

(as my

father is one), and I can not even really feel safe enough to have physical

contact with men

in the same state as my foo, much less the same city or house.

Recently I have asked my father for a favor. It was a couple of days ago.

Since that time, I

have been overwhelmed with intrusions of extreme discomfort. I have basically

felt that I

am being molested, and I am on display, constantly. It is terrible. I suppose

I should call

my therapist. I just wonder if anyone has any advice or words of encouragement.

I feel so

very terrible. I suppose I should not have asked him for this favor. He was

very willing to

help==but the price I am paying for it now, is so very great.

I am so freaked out! Help!

Charlie