Warning, virgin in vicinity

[Guest guest]

OK, this is my maiden attempt at TW on this board, so be gentle, please.

MY BELIEF: I'm not doing it right with Amalia

1. Is it true? I cant'know for sure

2. Can you absolutely know it's true? No, I can't

3. How do you react when you believe that thought? What happens?

I feel hopeless, sad, stupid. I feel I'll always be alone. I feel like

Amalia sees me as weak, silly, wimpy.

How have you treated that person, the situation, and others when you

believe that thought? What did you do and say? Be specific

I am unrelaxed and needy with her. I am clingy, weak, constantly

judging myself, monitoring my words, actions, stuck.

How do you treat yourself when you believe that thought?

I put myself down, am very critical.

Does this thought bring peace or stress? STRESS to the max!

4. Who would you be without that thought?

I'd be a strong, open, spontaneous and happy guy. I wouldn't care how

it went with amalia because I would be happy with myself. I'd be more

loving, happy, curious, excited, and optimistic. I'd love what is. I

wouldn't be thinking about where or how the relationship is going. I'd

just be having fun with her, or not.

Possible follow-ups:

Who or what are you without your story? I'm just a guy, in the

world, interacting with a beautiful new girl who crossed my path. I'd

not be putting her on a pedestal.

Who are you in this moment without the thought?

I am more relaxed, confident, strong, loving.

Turn the thought around

Turn it around to yourself

I'm not doing it right with me. Goddamn, is that true. Is this

thinking bringing me peace, happiness, comfort. Absolutely not. I'm

not giving myself a break, I'm not accepting or loving of myself.

Turn it around to the other:

Amalia isn't doing it right. I can't see proof for that.

Turn it around to the opposite

I am doing it right with Amalia. Well, it's what I am doing so I guess

it's right (this seems to be a central point I read over and over

again but don't really get). How do I know this isn't the right way?

Turn it around to " my thinking " where appropriate

My thinking isn't doing it right. If it were, I wouuldn't be feeling

this negative shit with myself, this critical, self-bashing bullshit.

Ok, so there it is. I must say doing TW on paper lacks a lot of the

power I feel when doing it verbally with another.