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I really am in need of some help. My husband is with his family his

father has lbd. his mother wants us to move back to md we currently

live in florida so that he can help take care of his father. I am

torn on what to do. I don't want to give up my life at age 51 and

live in a bedroom. We have a good job and security now. My husband

is being pulled by his mother who begs himm to stay and me who wants

him to come home. Does anyone have any advise to share with me.

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yes my mother in law she will not leave that house says they have lived

there over 35 years and that is where she wants both of them to die.

I really am in need of some help. My

husband is with his family his

> father has lbd. his mother wants us to move back to md we currently

> live in florida so that he can help take care of his father. I am

> torn on what to do. I don't want to give up my life at age 51 and

> live in a bedroom. We have a good job and security now. My husband

> is being pulled by his mother who begs himm to stay and me who wants

> him to come home. Does anyone have any advise to share with me.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Hi, Bonnie! Welcome aboard. It's a difficult decision you and your husband are

facing. Of course, he's torn between his duty to his parents and his desire to

be home with you. And eventually only the two of you can make that decision.

In my opinion, if you have a good and happy marriage, that comes first. You and

your husband should consider the fact that your parents have already lived their

lives, and even though you two should do all in your power to help them, that

should not interfere with your own life. His mother is overwhelmed (as all of us

caregivers are) and probably hasn't thought of the effect these frequent trips

are having on your marriage. May be your husband could explain that to her? Are

your in-laws very old? Is your MIL in poor health?

I think Donna's advice of having somebody help regularly -if at all possible

financially- is very good.

My husband has LBD and I'm taking care of him at home by myself. It's hard,

because we are not that young anymore (I refuse " to get old " or to think of

myself as " elderly " ), but I would never even think of asking any of my children

to live with us -not even to come every day to help though the ones that live

farther from us are about 40 minutes away. So I know how your MIL must feel.

You are still a young person to sacrifice your happiness in this way.

That's just my personal opinion.

Hang in there! My best wishes,

Raquel

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