Inquiry- It is my fault that my son is depressed.

[Guest guest]

It is my fault that my son is depressed.

1) Is it true? Yes

2) Can you absolutely know it's true? No

3) How do you react when you think that thought?

I feel like a weight is sitting on my chest. I am almost paralyzed. I feel

depressed myself. I feel so incredibly guilty. I feel so very sad. I make things

worse for him. I start doubting everything I have ever done as a parent. I

realize my feelings about my dad's depression have not been dealt with. I am so

afraid he will be like my dad, who is pretty dysfunctional due to depression. I

am filled with fear for him. I hate myself for doing this to him.

4) Who would you be without that thought?

I would be able to help my son. I would be able to continue to enjoy my life. I

would not be compounding his problems with my own feelings. I would feel hopeful

for him and that is what he would perceive in me. I would be able to be part of

the solution. I would be `present' for both myself and my son.

Turn Arounds:

It is my fault that I am depressed- I have been depressed and certainly am

responsible for my own feelings. I have been depressed and am ashamed of it

(wow, there's something to work on!)

It is my son's fault that he is depressed-well, maybe `fault' isn't the best

word but he is what he is, this is about him now, not me.

It isn't my fault my son is depressed-I am not the only influence in his life,

other things and people may have contributed to his depression. And I have

contributed to much of the good in his life too.