today at King's

[Guest guest]

This mornigng I got a call from my mom's nurse, she apparently threw a major

fit that she didn't have any clothes there, and that she has a ton of

clothes at her house (that's literal, she has at least 3 rooms FULL! not

just closets!) and nothing there. Well, I'd just taken her laundry to her

last night after washing her clothes yesterday, and she does have at least a

dozen outfits there...but she was yelling and throwing clothes at them and

saying the clothes she had there were junk and she wanted HER CLOTHES!

Well, good thing Pete and I had already decided to go to her house today and

get her chair that she sits in at home, some throw pillows for her bed, more

clothes, and some other knick-knacks to cozy up her half of the room...

After working at her house for several hours and finding clothes that were

really nice but not overly fancy-schmancy, and her wicker hamper, a bunch of

her silk plants, a little of her elephant collection (I made a " jungle " on

top of her dresser with the plants and elephants - hahaha!), some wall

art...we sat outside together while she smoked and I wrote her name in all

the labels and she got to pick and choose which clothes she wanted to keep

with her and which she would give away to the other residents. She sent

some home with me, with explicit instructions on how to wash them before she

wanted them in her closet. She still has about 3' of hanging space left, so

I'll be able to bring a lot more of her clothes to her, maybe use that upper

rack for sweaters and winter things, and the lower for her

spring/summer/fall clothes. She also has 2 large drawers and 3 small ones,

I took some plastic containers and organized the things in those also, and

they're full. We brought an under-the-bed storage container on wheels, and

brought her piano music in that. The next time we go we'll have to write

her name on all of those...

When I left her room looked great, she has a ton of clothes there (but still

that empty upper rack that I'll have to fill up), and she has a lot more

space and it's more cozy and homey. When I got there she was mad and said

she didn't want all that crap in her room, she didn't have enough space as

it was, and what was she going to do with all those clothes, since she

doesn't care what she wears " in here " and wears the same thing every day

anyway? (She doesn't.) At first she wanted me to take it all back and just

" burn it up " . But I continued with what I was doing, she went outside with

Pete and smoked, and when she came in it was done and she said she

appreciated it and seemed, if not happy, at least ok with having all those

clothes there.

It was a long day but a good one I think. We're exhausted, if we were only

20 years younger!

One other thing I learned about my mom's sundowning is that it starts a

couple of hours after supper (which I knew, I'm often there when it starts),

continues all night, and then subsides at about 10:00 a.m. She was still

confused when she got so agitated about her clothes this morning. When I

told her about it, she didn't remember it of course, and I said don't worry

about it, it was those lewy bodies messing with her mind again. I did

appreciate how they handled it though...they used distraction in small

steps, gradually getting her interested in going outside for a cigarette,

and then her nurse sat with her and let her rant until she ran out of steam,

then they talked. When my mom was calmed down, she went back in and got

dressed without a problem. I was very happy that they didn't just xanax

her; evidently that is an absolute last resort when nothing else works, and

the tiniest dose is all it takes even then. So I was glad about that.

Something else, is that every time we go there, the aides can tell us

exactly where she is; they've never said, " I don't know " they just point us

in the right direction. That impresses me also!

Ok, time to go crash and spend time with my pets now...long day, but in the

end it really went well!

His,

Sherry

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