Re: I'm soooo tired... (venting)

[Guest guest]

After living this nightmare for 5 yrs. my suggestion is to heal yourself

and not waste your time on family and friends that will not listen. I was a

teacher and tried to tell the parents and teachers in my school. Some

listened but MOST did not. I made myself sicker over it all. I couldn't believe

that no one would listen and would stay in a moldy building. Another teacher

got extremely sick after staying a yr. and half longer. Some members of my

family still do not believe me. It upsets me and can't understand why some

people will listen and others do nothing but think we are crazy.

The best thing to do is to take care of yourself and try the best you can

to forget the others. Hopefully they will not have to learn the hard way

but sometimes that's the only way.

Good luck and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!

Sue

I see and know of so many people that are sick... but none of them will

take me seriously...

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[Guest guest]

Amen Sue. You learned the hard way as most of us do. But in your case it is even

more unfortunate because you were trying to help others as well as take care of

yourself.

I think illness in general scares alot of people. I don't know if it is the fear

of death or some unconscious fear of " catching " anything (even when there is

nothing contagious). But I've seen people even after things like a surgery or

time in a hospital just disappear from your life only to return once you're

better. While there can be the surprises of those who really step up as friends

and are really there for you as well. But it seems like that is the exception

rather than the rule. With illnesses from mold exposure; it seems far easier to

dismiss and ridicule the person, even a loved one, perhaps as a way to keep

their own fears at bay. It is just sad that compassion often doesn't exist where

it is needed most. But as Sue wisely says that is when you really generate that

compassion for yourself and walk away if you can. What can be a problem

sometimes is that our illness often keeps us dependent on others. I hope Bonnie,

that you are able to do what

you need to do for yourself and leave those who are being so unkind behind you.

The funny thing is, and I can't say how many times this has happened, but when

someone else who ran away or was dismissive ended up having something happen to

them-- either my wife or I have heard; " my experience really made me think of

you guys and all that you've gone through. It must have been really so

difficult. " They still don't get it as it is an ongoing problem. But if you are

walking and talking they are more apt to think you are well or if you are

complaining that you are making it up.

Sam

After living this nightmare for 5 yrs. my suggestion is to heal yourself

and not waste your time on family and friends that will not listen. I was a

teacher and tried to tell the parents and teachers in my school. Some

listened but MOST did not. I made myself sicker over it all. I couldn't believe

that no one would listen and would stay in a moldy building.

[Guest guest]

Sam,

Your response to Sue reminded me of one situation where

people act like you are describing: Young children teasing

another who is different. It's as if adults are doing the same thing,

just modified as " adult " behavior. Still childish and just as fearful

but with more skillful techniques of denial twisted to deflect

attention away from their own vulnerabilities.

Several years ago I had a close friend develop their own chronic

conditions, physical rather than environmental. But was able to

apologize for their earlier skepticism because they didn't

understand until they were afffected. I was very touched but that

also was the end of it. They were unable to have a conversation

or discuss their own situation with me, only make an

announcement.

Carl Grimes

Healthy Habitats LLC

-----

Amen Sue. You learned the hard way as most of us do. But in your case it

is even more unfortunate because you were trying to help others as well

as take care of yourself.

I think illness in general scares alot of people. I don't know if it is the fear

of death or some unconscious fear of " catching " anything (even when

there is nothing contagious). But I've seen people even after things like a

surgery or time in a hospital just disappear from your life only to return

once you're better. While there can be the surprises of those who really

step up as friends and are really there for you as well. But it seems like

that is the exception rather than the rule. With illnesses from mold

exposure; it seems far easier to dismiss and ridicule the person, even a

loved one, perhaps as a way to keep their own fears at bay. It is just sad

that compassion often doesn't exist where it is needed most. But as Sue

wisely says that is when you really generate that compassion for yourself

and walk away if you can. What can be a problem sometimes is that our

illness often keeps us dependent on others. I hope Bonnie, that you are

able to do what

you need to do for yourself and leave those who are being so unkind

behind you.

The funny thing is, and I can't say how many times this has happened,

but when someone else who ran away or was dismissive ended up having

something happen to them-- either my wife or I have heard; " my

experience really made me think of you guys and all that you've gone

through. It must have been really so difficult. " They still don't get it as it

is an ongoing problem. But if you are walking and talking they are more

apt to think you are well or if you are complaining that you are making it

up.

Sam

[Guest guest]

Every thing you say is so true. Since I was exposed I have always said that

I don't wish this illness on my worst enemy (expect perhaps those that

allowed my school bldg.to rot). I agree with you that many people are

frightened and not many understand or even try to. Those of us with mold

exposure,

chemical sensitivities and even Lyme Disease are not understood. Since we

look okay it must be all in our heads. So many invisible disabilities

that no one sees. The fatigue, headaches, pain and just plain feeling awful.

If only they could crawl inside our bodies!!!

The best thing I have done is try, to the best of my ability, to forget

those that didn't listen! It took some time and stills hurts after all these

years. When my school was informed (without question) that I was sick

from the building I thought, surely, they would listen. It was all covered up

quickly & quietly. Parents could have moved mountains, but they were never

told the truth.

It is an on going nightmare, but the best thing to do is take care of

ourselves and support each other with this group. I don't know where I would be

without it!!

I continue to educate those that will listen but have no time for those

that don't.

We have each other and that is a tremendous help.

Sue

Amen Sue. You learned the hard way as most of us do. But in your case it

is even more unfortunate because you were trying to help others as well as

take care of yourself.

I think illness in general scares alot of people. I don't know if it is

the fear of death or some unconscious fear of " catching " anything (even when

there is nothing contagious). But I've seen people even after things like a

surgery or time in a hospital just disappear from your life only to return

once you're better. While there can be the surprises of those who really

step up as friends and are really there for you as well. But it seems like

that is the exception rather than the rule. With illnesses from mold

exposure; it seems far easier to dismiss and ridicule the person, even a loved

one, perhaps as a way to keep their own fears at bay. It is just sad that

compassion often doesn't exist where it is needed most. But as Sue wisely says

that is when you really generate that compassion for yourself and walk away

if you can. What can be a problem sometimes is that our illness often

keeps us dependent on others. I hope Bonnie, that you are able to do what

you need to do for yourself and leave those who are being so unkind behind

you.

The funny thing is, and I can't say how many times this has happened, but

when someone else who ran away or was dismissive ended up having something

happen to them-- either my wife or I have heard; " my experience really made

me think of you guys and all that you've gone through. It must have been

really so difficult. " They still don't get it as it is an ongoing problem.

But if you are walking and talking they are more apt to think you are well

or if you are complaining that you are making it up.

Sam

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[Guest guest]

Carl,

Thank you for sharing that story. It affirmed literally some experiences I've

had as well. It is a mixed bag of feelings that you can have in those moments.

Touched by their confession, sad that they've gotten ill and it had to come out

that way, and stymied that they don't want to, or aren't able to take it

anywhere else. That is strange especially when you are willing and interested in

discussing in order to help.

Sam

Several years ago I had a close friend develop their own chronic

conditions, physical rather than environmental. But was able to

apologize for their earlier skepticism because they didn't

understand until they were afffected. I was very touched but that

also was the end of it. They were unable to have a conversation

or discuss their own situation with me, only make an

announcement.

[Guest guest]

Literally, going through the same thing and I feel your frustrations! Like Sue

mentioned take care of yourself; you can lead a horse to water but you can't

make them drink!!!

I've given up on my mother and family at this point- they will have to learn the

hard way, sad to say but true. I'm too sick to give any of my energy away to

those who refuse to wake up and listen (even if it's doctors, lawyers, judges or

anyone!)!!!!

Take care,

~Dana

>

> I see and know of so many people that are sick... but none of them will take

me seriously...

>

> My family... I'm the youngest of six... I have two genotypes that are

susceptible to mold but they all seem to think it's just me... Granted I've

always been the odd one out... They have dark straight hair and I have blonde

curly... their heavy set, I'm closer to average build... big f-ing deal!!...

I'm still their sister!... in fact any of them that have spent any time in the

house during the removal of the carpets has gotten sick in on way or another but

they refuse to think that it is from the carpet removal... or that they could be

like me..

>

> One of my brother's offered me to stay with him after my attempted to return

to my parents... When I arrived at his house his older son answered the door and

directed me upstairs to see his mother... I stepped in the door and the first

thing I saw was a four foot water mark in the corner of the room... as I

ascended the stairs I noticed another horizontal water mark along the opposite

wall... I did all I could to convince myself that it wasn't that bad and to not

freak out I know I was being stupid... But it was late. I needed a bed. It had

been a long horrible day... When I entered the room my sister in-law was

cleaning the room (embarrassed by the dust... I tried to convince her to just

leave it... it just made me feel guiltier and guiltier)... During our strained

conversation (we never really got along very well) she mentioned that these

leaks are still on going... so I stayed the night (with the window in my room

wide open and the ceiling fan on high)... First thing in the morning I packed my

things and left. I explained why to my sister in-law and told her how concerned

I was about them... and she asked that I speak to my brother about the

situation... Don't they see what I'm going through... I know he won't listen to

me... I'm just his " baby " sister... How can I make him see/understand what a

dangerous situation he and his family is in?...

>

> Nobody wants to hear... I listen to friends describe their illness... IBS,

Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, lyme disease... but none of them will even check

out Shoemaker's site...

>

> My former co-workers must all think I'm crazy...

>

> I'm just exhausted... I want to help them... but I'm only banging my head

against the wall...

>

> Then there's fighting with doctors, insurance companies, lawyers, public

assistance and SSI...

>

> It's just never ending...

>