I should not end friendships with people who let me down. Is that true?

[Guest guest]

(takes deep breath)

Ok, I don't like to admit this, but I have ended so very many

relationships because the person has 'let me down.'

We'd have plans and they wouldn't follow through. Sometimes this

would be because of something big and major that I was looking

forward to, and sometimes it would be smaller things, but they'd pile

up.

Here I've been in Anchorage since mid-September, five months now, and

I don't have any friends here. I worked with about 15 people, and

we'd have brief opportunities now and then to chat, but it was almost

always work related.

Ok, I can go on and on about why I think I don't have friends.

Thinking those thoughts don't cause the amount of dis-ease I

experience when I think that I SHOULD have friends here. The dis-ease

when I think that there's something WRONG with me.

But is that true?

It's all God/One/The IS/That Which Cannot Be Named (that name always

cracks me up)

God should have friends. hahahahahaha

God should this, God should that. God is the unlimited, the eternal.

I suspect anything that's possible is going to happen. If I were God,

and I am, of course I'd create everything.

I've had times when I thought I had friends I spent time with. Heck,

I could think of you all as my friends, and we spend time together in

here, even if we do post at different times, so what. People talk at

different times.

Roslyn, I still care for you, even if I don't want to email/mail/chat

on phone with you like we did. Recently a friend from my past emailed

me, and I thought I'd blown our friendship, but she was fine with how

I'd been, and we openly talked about how things ended, and seemed

like we were both fine with it.

Well, right now I'm okay with what I put on the subject line above,

but I need to do some more work around the belief;

I should have friends here in Anchorage, I've been here five months!

A fortune cookie I got recently read; You are surrounded by friends.

On some level I know that's true, I get to taste life through them.

I feel like I'm blabbering on now.

Bi-Polar

[Guest guest]

Hey ,

So how about posting an inquiry on this? :-)

What are friends anyway? People that we believe that we know better

than others? People that we can talk to? People that we like? Dogs,

cats?

Who would I be without the concept of 'this one is a a friend, this one

is not'? Freer, more able to talk with anyone (or not talk), relaxed.

More grateful for the people around me.

I don't even know the name of some of my best friends - some of them

I've never even met - the people serving in the stores that I go into,

the drivers on the local bus, the people that work for the electricity

company, actors on TV :-)

Thanks - this has given me a lot to reflect on.

With love,

Jon