Guest guest Posted June 18, 2008 Report Share Posted June 18, 2008 Introverted Sensing Thinking Judgmental - typical profile of the 16 on the Myers-Briggs scale, geared towards those in the accounting profession > > > > I almost majored in Phsych.. Instead I majored in Math and > Accounting. I'm a big problem solver. I don't know if you were on the > board when I came on it. But a number of my problems have somewhat > been resolved. We still have others. Some are too personal to share. > > Sandy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 I remember my mom telling me to do this or do that. That is, until one day I had a "heart to heart" chat with her. Went like this -- "Mom, I love and respect you very much. I am thankful all you have done in Jeff's (my brother) and my lives. As much as I respect your opinion, I have something I must discuss with you. Remember when you gave Jeff and me the speech when I was about to turn 18 (my brother is two years younger) than me? You said to us, 'When you both turn 18, I can't tell you what to do anymore. You'll probably make many mistakes in life. But, I am confident that both of you will learn from your mistakes and go on to have productive lives. I am proud of both of you in terms of what you have done. I am proud that you survived one of the worst times of your life last year."Then I said to her, "Mom, you're a wonderful woman and mom. Thank you for being you. However, I'm 41 years old. I understand your concern as a mother for her children. But, there comes a point when even mothers go too far over to their children side, where it feels like they are intruding on their children's life. Mom, that's what I have felt my entire life seemingly. You've gone beyond what a typical parent would have concern for Jeff and me. You want to know why I been aloof at you? Because you've been an interrogator to me for much of my life. Because you've tried to control me being an Interrogator, I've tried controlling you by being aloof. Mom, I love you greatly and want to see both of us enjoy the rest of our lives in peace. I'm asking you to respect what I do in my personal life." Admittedly a bit behind again, here. this is great, boy can I see using this on, um with my mom. Not that I haven't tried. I just like your version better. I have been called the family diplomat, but I'm beginning to think that might just be because I've been too scared to stick up for . Don't get me wrong mom Loves and she has taken his having AS, very well, overall. It's just that like everything else she's gone about it by going overboard. She loves with strings. My brother & I have had to set all the boundaries in our adult years. As I said I can see using your conversation as a form of blueprint here with regard to mom. Thanks for sharing this with the group. You may indeed have reduced our collective blood-pressure. As a woman on the other side of 40, that's such a gift! Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2008 Report Share Posted June 20, 2008 I know we need support -- that's why we joined. I'm sorry for posting anything at all. I should have kept it to myself. Once again sorry for replying late to this one. Ya, try and keep up ... then well, life happens. Audrey, I'm sorry if my comments hurt you in anyway, or made you feel badly about posting comments, questions or even opinions. This is the place to come to air all of the above. This is the place to come to share experiences, stories, (be they cautionary tales), or stories of hope. All are welcome here. They and their posters are welcome because we need all perspectives here. No two Aspies are alike & no two marriages are alike. We have some common traits and issues, but our experiences & solutions are bound to be different. To be honest, my Aspie is a partner, he is someone I trust with my dreams & fears. He is my best friend. However, there are some things that I know I would not have been able to work with or adapt to had we met years earlier. Some of us met our AS partners lat(er) in life. I didn't meet my husband (Face to face), until my face had seen 40 come & go. By then I had seen my parents separate. My father die within a year of my parents separating. I had seen my long term relationship of over ten years spiral, sputter and ultimately die a slow painful death. We all have our stories, and all have value. There are reasons we are with our Aspies. There are reasons we & they stay, and there are reasons why some make that decision to part to save part of themselves, if not part of the love once felt between two people. We come here because we (Do) love our AS partners. We come here because we know we'll feel heard. So, don't stop sharing, share, learn, let us learn from you. As I said upfront I know I'm behind on a lot of these e-mails. I hope you're still reading, Audrey. NT. Living with and Loving her AS husband of two years. Even when he tries my patience beyond it's outer limits. Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2008 Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Be bold and make a statement, :-) I like that, be bold & mand a statement! Huzzah! I believe I will. Now what coast was I making this statement on again? Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2008 Report Share Posted June 21, 2008 Be bold and make a statement, > > > In a message dated 6/17/2008 6:41:08 PM Eastern Daylight Time, > msrpsilver@... writes: > > I remember my mom telling me to do this or do that. That is, until one day I > had a " heart to heart " chat > with her. Went like this -- " Mom, I love and respect you very much. I am > thankful all you have done in Jeff's (my brother) and my lives. As much as I > respect your opinion, I have something I must discuss with you. Remember when you > gave Jeff and me the speech when I was about to turn 18 (my brother is two > years younger) than me? You said to us, 'When you both turn 18, I can't tell you > what to do anymore. You'll probably make many mistakes in life. But, I am > confident that both of you will learn from your mistakes and go on to have > productive lives. I am proud of both of you in terms of what you have done. I am proud > that you survived one of the worst times of your life last year. " > > Then I said to her, " Mom, you're a wonderful woman and mom. Thank you for > being you. However, I'm 41 years old. I understand your concern as a mother for > her children. But, there comes a point when even mothers go too far over to > their children side, where it feels like they are intruding on their children's > life. Mom, that's what I have felt my entire life seemingly. You've gone beyond > what a typical parent would have concern for Jeff and me. You want to know > why I been aloof at you? Because you've been an interrogator to me for much of > my life. Because you've tried to control me being an > Interrogator, I've tried controlling you by being aloof. Mom, I love you > greatly and want to see both of us enjoy the rest of our lives in peace. I'm > asking you to respect what I do in my personal life. " > > Admittedly a bit behind again, here. this is great, boy can I see using > this on, um with my mom. Not that I haven't tried. I just like your version > better. I have been called the family diplomat, but I'm beginning to think that > might just be because I've been too scared to stick up for . > > Don't get me wrong mom Loves and she has taken his having AS, very > well, overall. It's just that like everything else she's gone about it by going > overboard. She loves with strings. My brother & I have had to set all the > boundaries in our adult years. > > As I said I can see using your conversation as a form of blueprint here with > regard to mom. > > Thanks for sharing this with the group. You may indeed have reduced our > collective blood-pressure. As a woman on the other side of 40, that's such a gift! > > > > > > **************Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for > fuel-efficient used cars. (http://autos.aol.com/used? ncid=aolaut00050000000007) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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