Mourners touched by widow’s grace

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Mourners touched by widow's grace Boston Globe Before the thousands mourning

Senator M. Kennedy arrived to pay their respects, Reggie Kennedy

hosted an intimate observance for Kennedy family members and a clutch of people

who organized the public viewing of her husband's flag-draped casket.

Milligan August 29, 2009 --

Mourners touched by widow's grace

By Milligan, Globe Staff | August 29, 2009

Before the thousands mourning Senator M. Kennedy arrived to pay their

respects, Reggie Kennedy hosted an intimate observance for Kennedy

family members and a clutch of people who organized the public viewing of her

husband's flag-draped casket.

That's when Jim Cassetta looked in the eyes of a woman he had never met, and

both immediately started to weep.

" She touched me and said, `I know,' '' said Cassetta, whose company managed

logistics at the F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, where the

senator lay in repose.

The encounter this week was among the many in which Reggie Kennedy, known as

Vicki, has impressed people with an extraordinary aura of grace as she managed

the public and private aspects of her husband's death. In a simple black shift

dress and pearls, she spent hours Thursday shaking hands with mourners waiting

patiently in line to walk by the casket, comforting strangers who expressed

their profound sense of loss. She returned yesterday and greeted hundreds more.

" I told her I had also lost my husband, and I know how difficult it is,'' said

Mulvey son of Jamaica Plain, fighting back tears. " She was just so

very gracious, such a genuine, sincere person.''

Vicki Kennedy was her husband's main source of support and guidance during his

illness, the couple's friends and colleagues say. It was she, they said, who

forced her husband to take naps, saving his strength for the things he loved:

calls to Washington to negotiate legislation, sailing, family visits.

She kept friends updated about the senator's health, but also managed to keep a

veil of privacy around the hyperexposed family as he battled a brain tumor. She

maintained a positive outlook, even when it was clear the cancer would take his

life.

And most remarkably to those who expressed their concern for Kennedy's

condition, Vicki Kennedy appears to have written an individual note to many, if

not all, of the people who called or wrote to offer support. The letters were

personal, often including handwritten comments that made it clear the notes were

not generic expressions of thanks.

" Everyone in my family is touched and grateful for the care she gave Teddy the

last year of his life, the unselfish care she gave,'' F. Kennedy Jr. said

in a brief interview yesterday as he made his way into the JFK Library to meet

mourners.

Since the senator's death late Tuesday night, Vicki Kennedy has helped

choreograph the days of remembrance, grief, and ritual. She stood at the head of

the extended family as an honor guard carried the casket into a hearse in

Hyannis Port for the final journey to Boston. Arriving at the JFK library

Thursday, she led the family procession behind the casket. When Cassetta and

other employees walked into the library, she was at the head of the line of

Kennedy family members. They held a private remembrance ceremony before letting

the public inside.

As her husband lay in repose, Vicki Kennedy stood in a receiving line and

offered solace to grieving strangers. Many of those she embraced and hugged said

they were astonished by her presence and her generosity. Hanna, 72, said

she waited two hours for the chance to express her condolences to Vicki Kennedy,

but it was worth it.

" She said she was so happy that we were here,'' Hanna said. " She was so

gracious. She was such a wonderful source of support for him.''

Jeanne Craigle, 58, of Stoneham was overwhelmed after meeting Vicki Kennedy

outside the library. " It was the thrill of my life; I'm ready to cry,'' Craigle

said.

" This must be so hard for her,'' said Calderón, 36, shaking his head as he

watched her greet yet another mourner.

Vicki Kennedy, 55, married the senator 17 years ago after a family friendship

blossomed into a romance. Despite speculation about her own political future, a

source close to the Kennedys has said she is not interested in succeeding her

husband.

Similarly to her late husband, Vicki Kennedy lacks the stuffiness so often

associated with the Washington political scene, the couple's friends and

colleagues agree. She is described by friends as unpretentious and equally

welcoming to the nonelite and powerful alike.

She displayed some of those traits at the senator's 75th birthday party in the

couple's Washington home in 2007. Vicki Kennedy, having spent more than an hour

greeting senators, a former president, and others at the door, chatted with

reporters near the dining room. Informed that Speaker of the House Pelosi

had just arrived, she turned and resumed her conversation instead of going to

greet the speaker. When the reporters interjected, saying they would understand

if Vicki Kennedy broke off to welcome Pelosi, Kennedy waved her hand to say no

and completed her story.

This week, Vicki Kennedy was performing the role that her husband had done so

many times before: providing consolation and support, said Representative

D. Delahunt of Quincy.

" She understands that Teddy wanted her to be there and do that,'' Delahunt said.

" She managed his health care. She was his soul mate. She cared for him in a way

that was truly remarkable.''

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