Re: to the moderator of aspires..important -please read-I'd like to contact you privately

[Guest guest]

Islah Umar wrote:

> Hi,

> I would like to know if the moderator of this site could e mail me off list.

I am concerned about the feeling of being shut out and may need the lead to

another list that has more of my voice and interest

>

>

Moderator, careful, they want your email address.

A moderator can be contacted very easily whoever you are, go read the

Yahooo instructions. (email or web can be used)

[Guest guest]

Hello. first of all my full legal name is listed on that e mail you referred to. second of all I am not real good with internet communication so I choose to reach out this way and got your response of..look out moderator. All groups apparently are not for all people. I feel talked over and have been insulted a few times by regulars here. I am no longer going to extend myself , and for me this is a new stage and I think a good one . There shouldn't be suspicion at my asking to speak with a moderator. Aren't most people e mail addresses clearly listed right here somewhere anyway? The fact that you don't even recognize my name shows that you have favorites and at this point thats your right to have preferences. I have had some healthy, friendly exchanges here but for the most part I feel foriegn and like an unwanted intruder. No thanks, not interested in

feeling like that anymore. Please, if at all possible, would the moderator of this site contact me off line, or at this point of disclosure online. I have nothing to hide especially my identity. Thanks UmmeeTim Channon wrote: Islah Umar wrote:> Hi,> I would like to know if the moderator of this site could e mail me off list. I am concerned about the feeling of being shut out and may need the lead to another list that has more of my voice and interest

> > Moderator, careful, they want your email address.A moderator can be contacted very easily whoever you are, go read theYahooo instructions. (email or web can be used)

[Guest guest]

Hi Islah,

I have been only on this list sporadically for the last couple of weeks due to computer problems, which I hope are finally fixed. My saying I was not sure of your name was jsut me, wanting to connect. Please do not take any ofense. I am not foreign, but my mother's parents were, and each spoke five languages. I have relatives who are not US citizens. this list is international.

I am AS, so may offend someone unintentionally, but never assume that I know.

As for computers, I might have posted the query to the moderator the way that you did. I know that one can contact the moderator the way the other erson said, but did not think of it. I am not the moderator, so will not write off list, unless you would like- but you can write me off list if you want, and I will certainly write back.

When I catch up on reading old emails, I will know more of The history of what you are speaking about, but right now, I just thought your reply that I answered was interesting.

I do hope you don't leave before I can catch up on all the reading!

, AS and many emails behind

> Hi,> I would like to know if the moderator of this site could e mail me off list. I am concerned about the feeling of being shut out and may need the lead to another list that has more of my voice and interest > > Moderator, careful, they want your email address.A moderator can be contacted very easily whoever you are, go read theYahooo instructions. (email or web can be used)

[Guest guest]

Islah Umar wrote:

> Hello.

>

> first of all my full legal name is listed on that e mail you referred

> to. second of all I am not real good with internet communication so I

second of all I am not real good with internet communication so I

> choose to reach out this way and got your response of..look out

> moderator.

Email is totally insecure with names, there is no way to know if a name

is genuine. This is a defect in the design of Internet email.

You have changed your email address from google to yahoo and changed the

name you sign, yet did not know the moderator posts in group. Other

things are different too.

Hijacked email accounts can look like that and want to know who is

moderator. (this is one step away from attempting to hijack the whole group)

Please do not take offence, I am simply explaining.

I apologise. Please take that as said, I don't want to hurt anyone.

Is it Houris or Ummeee or Islah or Umar?

Tim

[Guest guest]

Hi Tim If only I could remember these names like you can I would have used the original name posted. I am in my mid fifties and forget alot of things.. my passwords, my usernames etc. I don't think I have ever written any emails to the group that were suspicious or inappropriate. However, I was correct in my impression that you were serious and suspicious. Is it my name Tim? Sad because It is not a common American name. Neither is Obama, Tim. What would I be hijacking this list? Where would I take it? It is so interesting the the AS minds that read your email gave you the benefit of the doubt in saying your were just kidding. I read it just as it was, you don't trust me. Why should I be the chosen one on this list to not be trusted!? I think I deserve an explanation Tim. ThanksTim Channon

wrote: Islah Umar wrote:> Hello.> > first of all my full legal name is listed on that e mail you referred> to. second of all I am not real good with internet communication so Isecond of all I am not real good with internet communication so I> choose to reach out this way and got your response of..look out> moderator.Email is totally insecure with names, there is no way to know if a nameis genuine. This is a defect in the design of Internet email.You have changed your

email address from google to yahoo and changed thename you sign, yet did not know the moderator posts in group. Otherthings are different too.Hijacked email accounts can look like that and want to know who ismoderator. (this is one step away from attempting to hijack the whole group)Please do not take offence, I am simply explaining.I apologise. Please take that as said, I don't want to hurt anyone.Is it Houris or Ummeee or Islah or Umar?Tim

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I'm one of the moderators of this group and Newland is the

owner/moderator of this group. If you want to contact her privately

her email address is:

Newland

However, after having reviewed recent posts I see no reason for

concern, except for poor Islah who may be wondering why she was

centered out for questioning as to her true identity (... that's if

*I* understand the current thread correctly. I'm confused too, LOL.)

On some lists, I am known only by my " nom de plume " to protect

myself,due to the likelihood of at least one member belonging to

Grouply or similar identity theft program that hijacks the membership

list and all the archives. If Islah wants to call herself Houris

that's her prerogative as long as the moderators know who she is.

Does this answer your concerns Tim?

- Helen

[Guest guest]

Hi Helen and thanks for standing up for me. Helen Foisy wrote: Hi,I'm one of the moderators of this group and Newland is the owner/moderator of this group. If you want to contact her privately her email address is: Newland <opubendbroadband>However, after having reviewed recent posts I see no reason for concern, except for poor Islah who may be

wondering why she was centered out for questioning as to her true identity (... that's if *I* understand the current thread correctly. I'm confused too, LOL.) On some lists, I am known only by my "nom de plume" to protect myself,due to the likelihood of at least one member belonging to Grouply or similar identity theft program that hijacks the membership list and all the archives. If Islah wants to call herself Houris that's her prerogative as long as the moderators know who she is. Does this answer your concerns Tim?- Helen

[Guest guest]

Helen Foisy wrote:

> Does this answer your concerns Tim?

> - Helen

If the member is genuine there is no issue.

Tim

[Guest guest]

Tim Channon wrote:

> Helen Foisy wrote:

>

>> Does this answer your concerns Tim?

>> - Helen

>

> If the member is genuine there is no issue.

>

> Tim

>

I mean no disrespect to either Tim or Islah. I'm not trying to

embarrass or " pick on " either one. Please, I hope nobody takes offense!

BUT...

I've just *got* to take advantage of this opportunity, and make a

little point about AS/NT cognitive style vs. communication foul-ups vs.

hurt feelings.

In Helen's original reply to Tim, she only **implied** Islah was a

genuine member of the List. She **did not** say so explicitly.

Tim's smart; he understood.

But, " AS to the core " , Tim still didn't **know** - of his own certain

knowledge, or from Helen's sort-of assurance - that indeed Islah is a

genuine member.

Hence his _characteristic AS!_ response. Cautiously:

" IF [X = true] THEN [Y = true too]. " E.g. " ...no issue " .

_Starkly literal!_ With NO subtext; NO hidden agenda.

I've done the same, betimes, AND gotten nailed. *All* we AS have.

Understanding this, and exercising tolerance (both sides!) is an

important factor in successful AS/NT communication.

- Bill, 76, dx AS

--

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

Excellent analysis, Bill.

I see this many times and get a chuckle out of it sometimes

(sometimes the hurt on both sides is palpable so it isn't funny tho)

and of course see myself in there too, being on the AS side of the continuum.

As you would say Bill, sometimes it's all in the perspective.

- Helen, 53, self-dx'd AS, dx'd ADD

At 10:47 PM 11/23/2008, you wrote:

>Tim Channon wrote:

> > Helen Foisy wrote:

> >

> >> Does this answer your concerns Tim?

> >> - Helen

> >

> > If the member is genuine there is no issue.

> >

> > Tim

> >

>

>I mean no disrespect to either Tim or Islah. I'm not trying to

>embarrass or " pick on " either one. Please, I hope nobody takes offense!

>

>BUT...

>I've just *got* to take advantage of this opportunity, and make a

>little point about AS/NT cognitive style vs. communication foul-ups vs.

>hurt feelings.

>

>In Helen's original reply to Tim, she only **implied** Islah was a

>genuine member of the List. She **did not** say so explicitly.

>

>Tim's smart; he understood.

>

>But, " AS to the core " , Tim still didn't **know** - of his own certain

>knowledge, or from Helen's sort-of assurance - that indeed Islah is a

>genuine member.

>

>Hence his _characteristic AS!_ response. Cautiously:

>

> " IF [X = true] THEN [Y = true too]. " E.g. " ...no issue " .

>

>_Starkly literal!_ With NO subtext; NO hidden agenda.

>

>I've done the same, betimes, AND gotten nailed. *All* we AS have.

>

>Understanding this, and exercising tolerance (both sides!) is an

>important factor in successful AS/NT communication.

>

>- Bill, 76, dx AS

[Guest guest]

>"IF [X = true] THEN [Y = true too]." E.g. "...no issue".>_Starkly literal!_ With NO subtext; NO hidden agenda.>I've done the same, betimes, AND gotten nailed. *All* we AS have.

I hired a personal consultant to help me out with these situations.

It's EXTREMELY expensive though. I typically hand over every paycheck to her.....

Usarian

Actually there IS a real consultant come to think of it.. for work related.. stuff, I get his newsletters. He doesn't deal with AS specifically, but social problems "technical professionals" typically have that hold them back. Cerri, out of California. His website and newsletter have helped me quite a bit over the las couple years.

[Guest guest]

http://www.stcerri.com/

Actually I wrote a short article on this recently too:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1193986/social_tips_for_technical_professionals.html?cat=31

From: Usarian

Sent: Monday, November 24, 2008 7:57 AM

To: aspires-relationships

Subject: Re: to the moderator of aspires..important -please read-I'd like to contact you privately

>"IF [X = true] THEN [Y = true too]." E.g. "...no issue".>_Starkly literal!_ With NO subtext; NO hidden agenda.>I've done the same, betimes, AND gotten nailed. *All* we AS have.

I hired a personal consultant to help me out with these situations.

It's EXTREMELY expensive though. I typically hand over every paycheck to her.....

Usarian

Actually there IS a real consultant come to think of it.. for work related.. stuff, I get his newsletters. He doesn't deal with AS specifically, but social problems "technical professionals" typically have that hold them back. Cerri, out of California. His website and newsletter have helped me quite a bit over the las couple years.

[Guest guest]

>

> > " IF [X = true] THEN [Y = true too]. " E.g. " ...no issue " .

> >_Starkly literal!_ With NO subtext; NO hidden agenda.

> >I've done the same, betimes, AND gotten nailed. *All* we AS have.

>

> I hired a personal consultant to help me out with these situations.

> It's EXTREMELY expensive though. I typically hand over every

paycheck to her.....

>

> Usarian

>

> Actually there IS a real consultant come to think of it.. for work

related.. stuff, I get his newsletters. He doesn't deal with AS

specifically, but social problems " technical professionals " typically

have that hold them back. Cerri, out of California. His

website and newsletter have helped me quite a bit over the las couple

years.

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry about hitting the 'Send' by accident in the previous post.

Usarian, you are so funny. I enjoy your humor. Verleen

>

> > " IF [X = true] THEN [Y = true too]. " E.g. " ...no issue " .

> >_Starkly literal!_ With NO subtext; NO hidden agenda.

> >I've done the same, betimes, AND gotten nailed. *All* we AS have.

>

> I hired a personal consultant to help me out with these situations.

> It's EXTREMELY expensive though. I typically hand over every

paycheck to her.....

>

> Usarian

>

> Actually there IS a real consultant come to think of it.. for work

related.. stuff, I get his newsletters. He doesn't deal with AS

specifically, but social problems " technical professionals " typically

have that hold them back. Cerri, out of California. His

website and newsletter have helped me quite a bit over the las couple

years.

>