Re: Kids who tease others

[Guest guest]

Hi Geri,

I don't remember kids being nasty to me for having CMT. They asked why I walked

like that, but they never teased me. I thought that this was rare, and that

teasing is more common, but I recently read an article about things kids tease

others for, and it is usually things that the teased kid can do something about:

Like teasing someone who is overweight. Kids think that the person could go on a

diet and become thinner, but since they don't, it is ok to tease. Kids rarely

tease others for something that they can't do anything about, like a cronical

disease. Good to know for you with CMT children!

Beata

[Guest guest]

It was my experience that the children were brutal tyrants who did tease people

about the things that they could not change. I had a terrible gait that

progressed greatly from the sixth-grade into the eighth grade. kids were

merciless in demanding that I learn how to walk correctly.

Trouble was... I didn't know what they were talking about. I know that sounds

like a Monty Python skit, but it's true: I did not know what they were talking

about. And it wasn't only me.

At that time in the 70s they were doing a thing called mainstreaming which was

placing people who were obviously seriously learning-disabled, and placing them

in regular schools with rich kids who have no problems.

Further, if you weren't into skiing basketball baseball football or some other

sport, including hunting, and if you were not good at which ever sport by the

time you were 12, you were just simply no good as a person.

You may think I'm exaggerating, but I am not.

I think these days it might be easier because there's all kinds of awareness

programs and laws and rights have been through adjudication increased the

protection for kids like me.

So I think that the blame that would happen now is nowhere near the bullying

that I had to deal with 25 years 30 years ago.

And I really didn't know what was wrong. I had no diagnosis until I was 13, and

out of junior high school.

I sincerely hope that any kids who are involved in harassing other children

because of something, " they are supposed to be able to do, " are severely

disciplined if not thrown completely out of the school.

Actually I oppose suspension as a means of behavioral control for kids in

school, because those disruptive people who might deserve a suspension, really

probably don't want to be in school anyway. So suspension is no punishment.

Detention is punishment, but not suspension.

>

[Guest guest]

Lets ask the group .if they got treated nasty by kids for being different....

Kids were very nasty to me..I hated each and every day of school.

Geri

[Guest guest]

OH BOY.DO I HEAR YOU ERIC!!! The teachers weren't very nice either!They acted

like I had a mental disability as well, and didn't stop the kids when they were

mean but looked they other way. If I tried to defend myself..guess who stayed

after school and had to walk three miles to get home! I would be exhausted!I

would be sick every morning ,knowing what my day was going to be like.

Geri

It was my experience that the children were brutal tyrants who did tease

people about the things that they could not change. I had a terrible gait that

progressed greatly from the sixth-grade into the eighth grade. kids were

merciless in demanding that I learn how to walk correctly.

Trouble was... I didn't know what they were talking about. I know that sounds

like a Monty Python skit, but it's true: I did not know what they were talking

about. And it wasn't only me.

At that time in the 70s they were doing a thing called mainstreaming which was

placing people who were obviously seriously learning-disabled, and placing them

in regular schools with rich kids who have no problems.

Further, if you weren't into skiing basketball baseball football or some other

sport, including hunting, and if you were not good at which ever sport by the

time you were 12, you were just simply no good as a person.

You may think I'm exaggerating, but I am not.

I think these days it might be easier because there's all kinds of awareness

programs and laws and rights have been through adjudication increased the

protection for kids like me.

So I think that the blame that would happen now is nowhere near the bullying

that I had to deal with 25 years 30 years ago.

And I really didn't know what was wrong. I had no diagnosis until I was 13,

and out of junior high school.

I sincerely hope that any kids who are involved in harassing other children

because of something, " they are supposed to be able to do, " are severely

disciplined if not thrown completely out of the school.

Actually I oppose suspension as a means of behavioral control for kids in

school, because those disruptive people who might deserve a suspension, really

probably don't want to be in school anyway. So suspension is no punishment.

Detention is punishment, but not suspension.

>

[Guest guest]

I think that both statements about bullying in schools have validity. Kids

bully those that they feel superior to - even today. Jocks bully the kids who

don't play sports. They consider non-jocks not worthy of engaging in any type

of interaction.

The flip side is that kids tend to ignore students with disabilities. My son

gets out of his wheel chair to sit at the lunch tables and no one comes to join

him. We had a fire drill today, and I pushed him out to the parking lot - not a

single student offered to open a door or tried to have any interaction....it

breaks my heart. Kids for the most part today are very self-centered.

So, the choice for my son is either be bullied or be ignored. He's a very smart

kid and has chosen not to let much bother him. He figures that folks who he

reaches out to and respond in kind are worth the effort. Folks that ignore him

should be ignored. Those that bully or make fun...well he justs rolls past

them. At 16 when most boys are really into sports and learning to drive and

starting to have girlfriends and hang out in groups making plans...he has no

circle of friends to do this with. We are hopeful that if he can make it

through an entire year of school this will start to change.

Basically, kids are still kids, and all of the awareness and acceptance

teachings in the world haven't made much of a change in the general populations

viewpoint on assimilating those with disabilities in the world.

One final example....a bank branch was recently opened in our school. A

beautiful little facility, completely designed and implemented by a local credit

union. I went in today to open an account for my son. While the paperwork was

being processed the door opened and another parent came in. Mom was in a

wheelchair. Mom could not approach either teller station because neither was

handicap accessible. Neither the credit union or the school thought about how

they would service folks in wheelchairs. The world still needs changing!

[Guest guest]

The only kids that teased me were boys, and that's natural. It wasn't CMT

related at all, they just liked me. One boy threw a rock at me while we were all

walking homw from school, hit me in the head, I was bloodied, freaked Mom out

and we had to go visit the Principal and get this boy 'straightened out', lol

(circa 1961) While spending an afternoon at another boy's house, he wanted to

play 'barbershop', so he cut off some of my hair, lol, but really pissed Mom

off, lol

In my talks with we talked alot about 'bullying and CMT'. And bullying in

many other forms. Her book " Aunt Scarlett's Farm " addresses this issue for kids

about what appears as teasing, but in reality is bullying

http://www.susanwheeleronline.com/bullying.php

Gretchen

[Guest guest]

As for me the kids in school never changed.even when I went back for the 25th

class reunion.the snobs were still snobs. The cheer leaders were sill worried

about looks, money and popularity.although most had lost their hour glass figure

and were now more round. The school jocks were also round and balding but their

attitude had not changed when it came to others with disabilities.

geri

[Guest guest]

I do remember being teased once: A boy asked me why I was drunk, what had I been

drinking? So I said: Yeah strange that I got so drunk, I only had some milk! And

everybody laughed at HIM. So he didn't tease me anymore after that. But I mean,

I think I got teased a lot less than other (no CMT) kids. Don't know why, but

maybe because I always had CMT (since birth) and everybody in my class got used

to it. It didn't get worse either. There is no need for girls to be super

athletes, and I went swimming instead of doing sports at school. It was hard to

be a teenager with CMT, but it was because I did not want to have CMT. But

others treated me (and treat me still) so well.

I am also a bit worried for my son, who is healthy but he has chosen to dance

ballet (his choice entirely, I tried to talk him into other dance forms or

soccer, but no!). He is just 6 years old, but he loves ballet! And he is good at

it too. But I am afraid they will tease him.

Already there have been two incidents: I told in front of his friend to get

his bag with ballet clothes. The friend started to laugh and said: Do you wear

ballet clothes? I explained that boys wear black shorts and white T-shirt. The

friend said: Oh ok! So that was that.

The second thing was in front of the ballet classroom. A little girl pointed at

(there are no other boys, of course) and asked her dad: Why is she wearing

shorts? Her dad said: But he is a boy! And the girl said: Oh ok! So I think kids

need to understand the strange things. We need to explain that some people are

different and that they should always ask why they are different.

When they get the answer and understand that being different is ok too, then

they won't be teasing anymore! Kids at 's school ask me why I walk like

that, and I always explain. It feels good to that. Parents should tell their

kids that the best thing is to ask the person who is different directly. I

always did that with . He saw a man with a strange eye and asked me why he

had a strange eye. So I told him to ask the man! That is the best approach, I

think.

Beata

[Guest guest]

,

I feel your son will get friends soon! The good thing about being ignored is

that as person with disability you do not want to stick out, and if they ignore

you, than it means they consider you to be just like everybody else. But making

friends is hard for all kids, except a few over-social kids who just approach

others and say: Do you want to be my friend?

(My son is like that, our house is full of kids most days.)In a good school, the

teachers notice if someone lacks friends and they can try to match kids

together. Like giving two kids an assignment, go to the library together or with

smaller kids they could be asked to make a picture together with X (who is

normally alone). I would let the teachers know that your son does not have

friends, and make them aware of that!

Beata

[Guest guest]

Kids have been teasing each other since the beginning of time. It's really

better in the long run to let kids work this out among themselves. When moms get

involved like today's hovering moms it's never better for their kids as well

meaning as they may think they are.

Some mom's today are trying to get way too many special programs and aids for

their kids and then wonder why their kids don't feel they fit in with their peer

group. I'm sure I may have been teased some, I really don't remember much of it

and I don't remember being bullied at all, but I had my circle of friends and

was involved with the typical social life of the time.

My parents let me live my own life at school. I don't remember them coming to

school other than for PTA meetings or open houses. Sure some kids can be cruel

but having your mom there fighting the battle for you only makes it worse or

separates you from the rest of the kids. Moms, let your kids be kids. You'll be

surprised how well they can do on their own.

Bob

[Guest guest]

Bob, very well said.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Beata for your kind words.

I know he will find his way...it still just breaks my heart.

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[Guest guest]

What? I don't understand you thinking!

It isn't fun to be ignored. Whether one has a disability of not! No matter what

the age! You said......You don't want to stick out because you have a

disability!

Where are you coming from? So being ignored is a good thing?

If they ignore you and you have no friends, it means they " dont " acccept you!!

If the teacher hasn't noticed this child sitting alone by now, then she/he don't

give a rip! How about if people just acted like you were a normal human

being...wouldn't that be nice.

Why should people try to cover up their disabilities to be accepted....don't

need friends if I have to put on a front! They aren't worth it! and are not true

friends.

Geri