Re: visiting others at home

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have another problem: If I take my shoes off, the socks might be too slippery!

People use horrible slippery flooring! No idea why. Maybe they like it shiny! I

never take off my shoes at my house and it is not dirty. If it is rainy, I use

the doormat a bit longer.

Taking off my shoes is hard, my balance get worse and I´m afraid to trip. I have

tried to say this when I visit someone's house, and 90% say: Oh, ok no problem,

keep your shoes on! But 10% look like if I had just said: May I pour a bucket of

dirty water on your shiny floor? So now I carry blue plastic shoe-covers with

me. It looks horrible, it is slippery, but I don't have to stand that look!

Beata 

 

[Guest guest]

Beata,

Personally I regard my safety rather than looks or what others think.

I'm at last getting a grip on me! I'm a good person no matter what my mode

transportation is. I deserve to be comfortable just like anyone else.If you are

worried about falling, slipping,why then would you worry about looks from

others?

If I had to take my shoes off and worried about looks and falling.I wouldn't

bother going to their house. Same goes for w.c.,scooters or anything else I

need to make my life easer.

CMT effects everyone different and in its struggles own time! You can tell I'm

far from vain.good thing.because it bites one in the butt as time marches on.

I wasted a good part of my life worrying what others thought and felt beneath

them.it leavs scars too.I have had enough of that!

I'm a person just as they are and I'm treated different even by family.not my

problem but their's!! Not that I don't get sad.I do...and feel very sorry for

those that don't understand disabilities and those think they are better.

Geri

[Guest guest]

Geri,

I can see both sides of this caring what people think thing. On the one hand,

as healthy adults, we ought not have to worry about what other people think.

However, as a product of Western culture and my specific upbringing, I am still

very tuned into " what will people think? " Heck, I can remember my mother saying

that to me when I was a kid, (not b/c of CMT, but b/c of my behavior, or the

clothes I wanted to wear, etc), so I was taught to worry about others'

perceptions. Now my challenge is to remember that what other people think is

none of my business!

As for the taking shoes off thing, I need my shoes for support, and I would not

visit someone who required that I take them off. That, and in a nod to another

thread, my feet get really cold really easily, so taking off the shoes is not an

option! Unfortunately, I am still in that 'place' where I feel guilty asking

for accommodation, but I make myself ask anyway.

When I was taking a co-counseling class, I asked if I could keep my shoes on,

and asked that I not have to sit on the floor with the rest of the group because

getting up off the floor was such a pain. I felt weird doing so, and at the

time (5-6 yrs ago) really resented the CMT for forcing me to have to ask, but I

still did it. I think I had more of a problem with it than the facilitator or

the other students...

Some people will never get it though. My former coworker talked about requiring

people to remove their shoes, no matter what. And I said, " so your white carpet

is more important than someone's health and well-being " ? Apparently it is. Of

course, this is the same person who told me that I was 'lucky' that I could park

in the handicapped spot. As if it was some big prize! I am so glad I don't

have to work with her anymore...

>

>

[Guest guest]

i feel so sad for you guys, my family has helped me 100 percent. i guess people

have made funny of me but in a fun way. i would have to agree, safety is the

best way to go. i am tried of falling and tripping. i just try to love everyone,

and i expect them to love me.

good luck to everyone.

tina

cmt1a

michigan

[Guest guest]

Visiting at other homes has always been a challenge for me at some houses. I

can't visit my Mom or sister because my Moms house is such a mess. If I make it

through the door to the table I am lucky. I always end up standing because she

has the chairs and table heaped high with stuff. Forget walking past the table

usually there is no way. My Mom at 80 can still step over the junk and squeeze

through the hallways. She is in better shape than I am in.

[Guest guest]

My mothers always telling me to go visiting.get out enjoy life!..Travel! with

no money!...

That's real easy to do when the homes are not accessible

I could visit outside I guess but where do I go to the bathroom.Squat in the

front yard I guess!

Geri

Visiting at other homes has always been a challenge for me at some houses. I

can't visit my Mom or sister because my Moms house is such a mess. If I make it

through the door to the table I am lucky. I always end up standing because she

has the chairs and table heaped high with stuff. Forget walking past the table

usually there is no way. My Mom at 80 can still step over the junk and squeeze

through the hallways. She is in better shape than I am in.

[Guest guest]

I recently had the challenge of attending a party at a home of someone that had

just done some redecorating, including ultra plush carpet. (It was like walking

on jello!) As we walked in I saw the carpet and started looking for the shortest

route to the kitchen where I would find some nice flat solid floor and a counter

to prop up against.  Everyone was admiring her decor and all I could think about

was how to stay upright and I did not notice any of the decor.  Then the hostess

hands me a drink in a very fancy, fragile glass and I so wished she had given me

a sippy cup. (I use sippy cups at home for myself because I was tired of

cleaning up the mess of dropped or knocked over drinks.)

Funny how no one has a clue how my mind is spinning on managing the CMT in the

simplest situations. (Simple for them)

Cyndi

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is a very good point. My Mother was always asking me what the

neighbors would think about different things. Now she says that to my sister

because my sister smokes in the front yard. With CMT we can't care what others

think. I need to remember that.

In a message dated 8/21/2009 9:27:22 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

lalbrecht02@... writes:

" what will people think? "

[Guest guest]

if I think someone is looking at me ..I'm sure to fall ,trip or do

something..LOL

Geri

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Geri,

I think it is an interraction thing, caring about what others think of us. We

think things too. If someone is ugly, we think that. Or overweight. Or very

stupid. There are so many bad things you can think. And we do! Everybody does

that! If I see another person with CMT, I might think: what a bad gait! ) Mine

might be a lot worse though. It doesn't stop me from thinking that. Since I

think these things, I know others do too. I can't avoid some thingss, beacuse

there is just nothing to do about that. I have braces and bad balance, a bit

wobbly gait. Nothing to do about that! You are in a wheelchair and there is

nothing to do about that either! You need it, you like it! But there are

awkwatrd situations when people think that you are just behaving badly. For

example if you are at someone's home  and they ask you to remove your shoes. You

say: Can I keep them on please? You mean: Otherwise I might trip or slip. They

hear: I am so lazy, I don't want

to remove them. So you can either explain using the long version (they might

not get it anyway, people don't always listen) or remove your shoes. Next time:

you can have a plan. In my case I carry plastic shoe covers. And yes, after

getting that look (don't walk into my home with your shoes on) I stop visting

them. Their loss! Lots of nicer people to visit, with shoes on.

Point is: What people think affects me, if I can do something about it. If it is

nothing to do, then people must accept, and me too. But not all situations are

black or white. Most things are in the grayscale.

Beata

________________________________

From: Geri Logan <hotwheels@...>

Sent: Saturday, August 22, 2009 12:21:58 AM

Subject: Re: visiting others at home

 

Beata,

Personally I regard my safety rather than looks or what others think.

I'm at last getting a grip on me! I'm a good person no matter what my mode

transportation is. I deserve to be comfortable just like anyone else.If you are

worried about falling, slipping,why then would you worry about looks from

others?

If I had to take my shoes off and worried about looks and falling.I wouldn't

bother going to their house. Same goes for w.c.,scooters or anything else I need

to make my life easer.

CMT effects everyone different and in its struggles own time! You can tell I'm

far from vain.good thing.because it bites one in the butt as time marches on.

I wasted a good part of my life worrying what others thought and felt beneath

them.it leavs scars too.I have had enough of that!

I'm a person just as they are and I'm treated different even by family.not my

problem but their's!! Not that I don't get sad.I do...and feel very sorry for

those that don't understand disabilities and those think they are better.

Geri