depression

[Guest guest]

Jane, you are having a rough patch, but i certainly would never delete you, i

have been taught that when i get overwhelmed, just try to connect with a higher

power, and tackle one issue at a time. Your weight might be a good place to

start. There is a program on line called ediets which is very helpul. Good

luck and god bless. Marsha

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Depression

Warning, if you don't want to read someone's ranting and raving depression

blather, delete this right now.

Depression sucks. Sorry, I haven't been around lately for several reasons.

One was that I was doing rather well taking vitamins (d) and non-denatured

whey. Then, our gift of a beautiful slab of river water granite was stolen

(can't replace it as it would cost $300.00. I found bits of it in the road

so I'm pretty sure it was stupid kids being destructive. It was the seat to

our outdoor bench. We now just have legs. But then our car got stolen. I

always lock my car but Mike gets on my case about it. Then, his unlocked

car gets stolen. It's not his fault for the most part but I wish he'd get a

clue. But, mostly I wish human beings were more caring on the whole. I

don't understand people that are so self centered. Then our truck (the work

horse) broke down after we got it so called fixed. We take it in Wednesday

so they can start working on it Thursday. Mike calls today to see how

things are going (we need it so he can drive it to work if I get called to

sub) and they haven't even started on it yet. On top of all that other

things seem to be crashing down on me. I swear to goodness this place has

twice as many smokers as where I used to live does. You'd think that moving

to the Redwoods would be clean air and beauty but humans have to come along

and wreck all of that. There are too many druggies (I'm talking hard core,

not casual), too many smokers who seem to think they have the right to smoke

even though my right to breathe clean air is impinged on. They also don't

know how bad they stink so again my right to breathe clean air doesn't

happen. Then, in many ways the worst of it, they almost all seem to think

that throwing down their cigarette butts is okay. And what's up with people

dropping their trash on the ground?

All of this has been weighing me down and today it suddenly crushed me. I

couldn't take the weight of it anymore. I'm tire of being sick all the

time. I'm sick and tired of being fat and ugly with my skin doing things

its never done before like zits, weird bumps, bizarre dry patches. I'm

tired of taking pills and vitamins (though the vitamins are working) and

doing all the mundane chores in life (who isn't?). I'm sick of trying to

find a caring doctor. I tried calling for two days so I can get a refill on

my antidepressants and kept getting a busy signal. Aren't they supposed to

have several lines and put you on hold? I'm sick of our house having so

many structural problems and people ripping us off.

Where are all the honest, good and loving people in the world? I want to

get together with them and live with them and stay away from the rest. Of

course that's a total fantasy.

Sorry, I just had to get this off my chest and didn't know where else to

write it. Me and my stupid depression went and got my husband down but I

have to admit, he pisses me off because I know he didn't bother locking the

car even though we had talked about it and I know he'd just love to buy a

new (used) car even though we don't have money. He also pisses me off

because I spent all morning working on my book I hope to get published and

he comes home all pissed off because I haven't done any house work. Mind

you I'm a terribly house wife. But I could use a little support in my

efforts. Something like, " Oh, let me see what you've done. Let me read

your (short children's ) story. How do the illustrations look, let me see. "

But, even when I bring up that I'd like him to have interest in it he just

brings up his lack of interest in stuff like that. He's dyslexic. It's

only 4 pages long. It's a children's book. It's mostly pictures for crying

out loud. I don't know anyone here. I have no one to show my work to and

get feed back from.

I guess I had more to get off my chest.

Please delete me.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Jane,

I didn't read every word as I sensed your pain almost right away-the

details are just the story behind the pain. You said " Please delete me "

instead of " I'd like to excuse myself from this group to put my thoughts

and energy somewhere else " . For me, one statement takes me down

emotionally and one doesn't. That's what I'm learning-reach for the

better thought, the better statement, cuz the more I generate negative

emotions with my thought patterns, the more struggles there are in my

life. Most people have struggles,and think the resulting emotions and

thoughts are because of what happened. Once I began to study this

belief, I discovered it's the other way around. If this resonates with

you, maybe you could give it more attention. If it doesn't and you want

to continue living as a victim of circumstance, which I did for 45

years, I'm sure everyone in this group, including me, would love to put

our arms around you as supportive friends and ask you to stay here, be

supported, feel our love for you. There are many, many stories of

people who have completely turned their lives around using the

principles of the law of attraction and I'm one of them. If there is

anything I can offer beyond a virtual hug that starts you on the path of

reversing your misery, I'm overjoyed to be a small part of it, as I'm

sure all of us here would be.

Hugs and blessings for a speedy emotional recovery

Deb My Fibromyalgia blog <http://fibromyalgia-free.blogspot.com/>

[Guest guest]

Are you able to do any crafts? Feelings are a result of thoughts. If you allow

yourself to think depressing thoughts, you will be depressed. Thinking a

certain way is a habit. One step is to immediatedly stop and say to yourself

that you are ......... fill in the blank with something positive. We are the

only one responsible for our happiness, or not.

Change your thoughts to positive

get some kind of exercise

use any talents, skills to help others

look around you and give thanks for what you have

These are suggestions just to give you some ideas, food for thought. I am

bedbound. I contract and relax and stretch various parts of my body. I have

lost a lot of muscle tone because my husband's response over requesting help for

range of motion (ROM) is always, do it yourself. Anyway, I do these " exercises "

to music. Music from television commercials, and music on my computer. I read.

I knit and crochet for charity. Many charities looking for items. I see grass,

flowers, trees, people outdoors. You do lose people when you can't haul

yourself around LOL.

R.N. (Ret.), M.S.W.

www.bestdogcookies.com