This morning's care conference

[Guest guest]

It went so much better than I could have even hoped - the biggest news is

that they're going to get rid of the organ that's in the activity room and

let us donate my mom's baby grand piano to the NH!!!!!!!!!!! The DON and

the administrator both play the guitar and have enjoyed singing with my mom

(which she doesn't remember at all)...but if we donate the piano to the NH

my mom will be able to play it and then leave it as her legacy. One thing I

decided, and shared with them, was that we're not going to tell her about

it, we're going to have it moved there and surprise her, and make it the

staff's surprise to her rather than mine - because I believe it will go a

long way to helping her see how much they care about her, and feel better

about living with them.

I really love this place so much, and was able to share much of what I've

learned here on the support list with the adm. and DON - some they knew,

some they didn't. But I will start printing articles for them because

they're so open to that and also really happy that I'm on this list which

they didn't know existed, and were asking all kinds of questions. I'm new

and don't have many answers yet but I know where to get them now! I did

mention the meds, we're going to have another discussion about those next

week after she comes back from the psych hospital. But she said they did

put her on eflexor (sp? I still need to look that one up) but she doesn't

know yet the other changes to her meds. We talked about Haldol (it never

EVER is given to a patient here, we will refuse doctor's orders for it when

a doctor tries to send a new patient here), and Valium (which my mom has had

issues with in the past - it won't be used). She said that they gave her a

very low dose of the Xanax when she was so anxious last weekend and it

worked real well to relax her; I said that if it works without causing any

problems or downslides or anything, it sounds like the best course to take

when she needs something. However, the DON also said that it may not be

necessary now that they're getting her on a better course of meds...they

hesitate to give anything unless it's absolutely necessary, and contact the

family whenever they have to. I like that.

I got kind of a kick out of one of the first things that the DON said to me

this morning: " It's so wonderful to meet you, Sherry! I know your mom's

told us so much about her daughters...mostly that they've stolen everything

she has and left her destitute " with an smile, not cruel or ridiculing in

any way, but a shared understanding, even a little bit sad, smile. I felt

at ease immediately. She said she's familiar with the LBD paranoia (which

is also common in other dementia residents), and she's heard that many times

over the years .

I was happiest about the piano but also they had some great suggestions for

making her room homier. I can bring in her chair from home that she sits

in, and an ottoman, a magazine rack (she loves ladies' mags), and a lamp so

she doesn't have to live with fluorescent light all the time, which she's

always hated. And I can bring in a bedspread and throw pillows for her bed,

and rearrange her side of the room however I want to - I don't have to leave

the bed sticking out from the wall under the fluorescent light like a

hospital bed.

The DON suggested that I bring in her best clothes from her massive

inventory, while she can still wear them. She said it will probably make

her feel good about herself to wear them, and she probably won't miss the

less-than-perfect clothes anyway. They encouraged me to take her out as

often as I want to, once she's on Medicaid (which can take anywhere from 3

weeks to 4 months, depending on the caseworker and how quickly any requested

paperwork is turned in), and said that I will be surprised; in a few months

my mom will see the NH as home because of the structured, loving, cozy

environment, and may not want to spend much time away from it. She said

that sometimes the aides will take residents out to lunch with them, if

that's ok with the family, also...

I have had nothing but good feelings about this place, and those feelings

have only increased in the time I've spent there and in my dealings with the

staff - from admin. through to the kitchen and housekeeping people, and of

course the nursing staff. I was also happy to find that the DON is a sister

in Christ, she said, " He is my ROCK! " so there was another kinship there.

Oh yeah, and they are going to move her to another room, as her current

roommate can't communicate and pretty much lays in her chair and mumbles to

herself all day. So they're going to move her in with another lady who is

active and lucid, they said that she's very motherly toward the other

residents, and friendly and social. That could only be a good thing for

as well.

Last night when I spoke with my mom on the phone I was feeling more positive

than I have since this all started, because they're getting her depression

under control. I know that we can work with this staff on helping her

become acclimated to her new life at King's, and we're all on the same page

as far as planning for my mom's future and helping her acheive a greater

comfort level in her life.

It's all good .

His,

Sherry

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