Re: Re: Sharing beds-- Part of my story.... Long, lad...

[Guest guest]

so needy and cold.

Usarian, you said what I thought of saying at the begging, but with no details.

If I had said it that way, I would have not been able to explain the aftermath of being cold and needy meant in my life.

In my case, ex did not want to even try to improve, I was the one doing it all, trying hard to do it. I knew him for a very long, long time....... years and years, but I could not see it. It was always a matter of not doing things before the time was supposed to be.

Once I married and all the truth came down, it was over for me emotionally, I was devastated that to think that a "pre-conceive" idea (religious) made me go into something that I would regret later on.

I stayed for a long time as well, but ONLY out of responsibility, out of feeling I had to help him, I had to be there for him. That is what made him in my views feel that he was a child, someone else to take care of besides me. He was not my child, he was a man and I wanted for him to behave like one; but how could I force that on someone who is beyond improvement?

My dad was in my situation with mother, and he suffered greatly, he was forever unhappy and his only happiness came in part from us. He was an achieved person, he was a man as well....... He made too many mistakes and he was hang for them by the people who should have helped, the people who he took care of.......

All he wanted was a little bit of affection and also feel special and appreciated, instead he was made feel he was "obligated" to everything....... Even to pay for his mistakes!

Dad was an awesome guy, and if it was not for his teachings and his personal guidance to me, I would have not be who I am.

He regretted greatly his choices, and at the end he was alone and lonely. It was that the reason why he molded me to be someone caring and understanding toward man like him.

He wanted me not to make the mistakes he saw mother make, he wanted me to see his desire for affection and compassion and he tried hard to teach both his daughters it.

Sister did not get it, but I did, and even in silence, when others thought I was not thinking, I did, I understood, and learned. IT became part of me, the only trouble with it is that he forgot to tell me where will I find someone who was willing to be loved the way I can love.......

Life can be Funny at times ;-)

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